Friday, August 26, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Honest Weeks Work
Here's a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a
little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that
we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time . .
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more
or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her,
let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave
her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the
end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the
appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay"
she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked
the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew
building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on
the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied,"I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fucking sheetrock!
little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that
we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time . .
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more
or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her,
let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave
her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the
end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the
appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay"
she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked
the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew
building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on
the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied,"I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fucking sheetrock!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE
The shit has hit the fan, literally. Right before the up and coming season of college basketball, UC President Dr. Nancy Zimpher has accentually FIRED UC Head Basketball Coach Bob Huggins.
Either way, UC basketball will be going into the Big East conference without its esteemed coach of 16 years, the winningest coach in school history. He's led the Bearcats to 14 consecutive NCAA tournament appearances.
Nice way to send a great coach out on his coat tales, bitch. This is something that happens at the end of a season, NOT THE BEGINNING. He should have had the chance to take his last team out as winners. The reason that you are going to the Big East Zimpher, is because of Huggins. Not your short two years as President. Apparently this is one department of UC that DID NOT NEED A CHANGE.
Look at these numbers and look again at why young students want to attend your college. They want to be apart of the Huggins era.
His 542-191 record ranks him seventh in winning percentage among active division one coaches.
Those wins include 10 conference regular season titles and eight league tournament titles for the Bearcats. He's also taken the team to the NCAA tourney 14 times in a row.
You are just upset because no one knows who you are when it comes to UC history.
Not only does Huggins get the shaft, so does the players. They have spent the entire summer getting accustomed to Huggins' system. Now that is all trash. Time to start anew. This will last into the season, because the new coach will not have the total trust and respect that Huggins had with them. They all knew that Huggins would stand shoulder to shoulder with them when facing any opponent on the court. This is a coach that can take control of a situation when the pressure is on late in the game. He knows how to handle a young, talented Freshman when he needs to make the winning shot. Many of the player come from far away to play for Huggins. They could have easily have signed with bigger named schools closer to home. But no, they want to play for Huggy-bear.
In the end the fans get the shaft. For just about the same reasons above, us fans do not know if the new coach can make the right call, when it is all on the line.
Can you say, NIT???
Either way, UC basketball will be going into the Big East conference without its esteemed coach of 16 years, the winningest coach in school history. He's led the Bearcats to 14 consecutive NCAA tournament appearances.
Nice way to send a great coach out on his coat tales, bitch. This is something that happens at the end of a season, NOT THE BEGINNING. He should have had the chance to take his last team out as winners. The reason that you are going to the Big East Zimpher, is because of Huggins. Not your short two years as President. Apparently this is one department of UC that DID NOT NEED A CHANGE.
Look at these numbers and look again at why young students want to attend your college. They want to be apart of the Huggins era.
His 542-191 record ranks him seventh in winning percentage among active division one coaches.
Those wins include 10 conference regular season titles and eight league tournament titles for the Bearcats. He's also taken the team to the NCAA tourney 14 times in a row.
You are just upset because no one knows who you are when it comes to UC history.
Not only does Huggins get the shaft, so does the players. They have spent the entire summer getting accustomed to Huggins' system. Now that is all trash. Time to start anew. This will last into the season, because the new coach will not have the total trust and respect that Huggins had with them. They all knew that Huggins would stand shoulder to shoulder with them when facing any opponent on the court. This is a coach that can take control of a situation when the pressure is on late in the game. He knows how to handle a young, talented Freshman when he needs to make the winning shot. Many of the player come from far away to play for Huggins. They could have easily have signed with bigger named schools closer to home. But no, they want to play for Huggy-bear.
In the end the fans get the shaft. For just about the same reasons above, us fans do not know if the new coach can make the right call, when it is all on the line.
Can you say, NIT???
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Weight Loss Program
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs.
As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran across an
ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
“Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he
called them up and subscribed to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he answered, there
stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed
in nothing but air, some Nike running shoes, and a sign
around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and got the action he was
hoping for.
After they were through and she left, he thought to himself, "I like
the way this company does business!"
The same girl showed up for the next two days and the same thing
happened.
On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he
had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5-day / 20 pound program.
The next day there was a knock on the door and there stood the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read,
"If you catch me, you can have me." He was out the door after her like a shot.
This girl was in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but when he did, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happened. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50
pound program "Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone.
This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years".
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he opened it he
found a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but Pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck that read, "If I catch you, you're mine."
As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran across an
ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
“Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he
called them up and subscribed to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he answered, there
stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed
in nothing but air, some Nike running shoes, and a sign
around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and got the action he was
hoping for.
After they were through and she left, he thought to himself, "I like
the way this company does business!"
The same girl showed up for the next two days and the same thing
happened.
On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he
had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5-day / 20 pound program.
The next day there was a knock on the door and there stood the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read,
"If you catch me, you can have me." He was out the door after her like a shot.
This girl was in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but when he did, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happened. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50
pound program "Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone.
This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years".
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he opened it he
found a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but Pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck that read, "If I catch you, you're mine."
"PROOF" that Women are Evil
Women takes time and money.
Women = time x money
Time IS money
Women = money x money = money ^ 2
Money is the root of all evil
money = sqrt(evil)
=> money^2 = evil
since women = money^2
women = evil :)
Women = time x money
Time IS money
Women = money x money = money ^ 2
Money is the root of all evil
money = sqrt(evil)
=> money^2 = evil
since women = money^2
women = evil :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Monday, August 15, 2005
This Week in Nascar
I didn't post anything last week. There wasn't much to post about. The only positive note that I really had, was that Truex won another race. He is running away with his REPEAT Championship. Congrats to Tony for his dream of Indy. He is an awesome driver. He is most likely the driver I am going to go with for the Chase. I am a football guy and when Joe Gibbs is guy you drive for, I will root for you. I root for mainly DEI, RCR, and JGR drivers. So at the end of the season, when Tony as his second championship, don't say I didn't tell you so. He has been on a streak lately, winning five of his last seven races. With four races until the Chase, it looks as if he will be the leader going in.
JR finished 10th. He is now 163 points out of 10th. It is time now to stop looking for points. The possibilities of making the Chase are next to nil. Time to hook up the car to go all out and go for wins. Let the chips fall where they may. With Michigan (2 miles), Bristol (0.533 miles), California (2 miles), and Richmond (0.75 miles) left, anything can happen.
Here is the present standings. Still to close to call on who will be in the Top 10 to qualify.
JR finished 10th. He is now 163 points out of 10th. It is time now to stop looking for points. The possibilities of making the Chase are next to nil. Time to hook up the car to go all out and go for wins. Let the chips fall where they may. With Michigan (2 miles), Bristol (0.533 miles), California (2 miles), and Richmond (0.75 miles) left, anything can happen.
Here is the present standings. Still to close to call on who will be in the Top 10 to qualify.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Special Friday Pun (in honor of GOC)
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Meet CJ
You are probably wondering why I haven't posted in a while. I have been very busy with this guy. He is really keeping me on my toes. It is like having another child all over again. He is constantly getting into things that he doesn't need to be in. In the long run it will be worth it. To have a dog in the house is added security. We just need to get through the house breaking without me breaking him. It should take a week or two and then everything should be roses.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Coffee Machine
1. CLICK ON THE LINK - COFFEE MACHINE
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (this one is very important, don't forget!)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (this one is very important, don't forget!)
Sheer Lingerie
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.
He is shown several items that range from $250 to $500. The more sheer, the more expensive. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, " I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
Her husband says, "Goodness ! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is Friday.
He is shown several items that range from $250 to $500. The more sheer, the more expensive. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, " I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
Her husband says, "Goodness ! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is Friday.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Operation Redneck
The Pentagon announced today the formation
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit named the
U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These men from Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas,
Alabama, Georgia, and Texas will be dropped into
Iraq and will be given only the following info about
the Terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, dogs, pickup trucks, old
country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the
death of Dale Earnhardt.
The war in Iraq should be over IN ABOUT A WEEK.
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit named the
U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These men from Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas,
Alabama, Georgia, and Texas will be dropped into
Iraq and will be given only the following info about
the Terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, dogs, pickup trucks, old
country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the
death of Dale Earnhardt.
The war in Iraq should be over IN ABOUT A WEEK.
Whats up?
I haven't posted for a while. I just haven't been up to typing. I have been spending more hours at work, so coming home and typing just doesn't sound like fun.
I have been exploring a few other avenues of entertainment.
I took my kids out to Blockbuster the other day and bought Nascar Thunder 2003. Yes, 2003. I know it is used, but it was only ten bucks. I can get my Nascar fix any time I want now. I haven't started a season yet. I am still having problems with a few tracks.
I didn't do my usual Nascar post. Why? Did you watch the race? Junior got put down two laps and never recovered from it. The first lap down was because he got passed because he was in the pits. The other was from the penalty for leaving pit road at 143 MPH from the same pit stop. He needs to keep his cool. One lap down can be recovered from because of the "Lucky Dog". Don't get me started on that. The way I look at that rule is to take advantage of it. If Nascar sets the rules, then everyone is racing by them. He is now 110 point out of 10th with 6 races left until the Chase. He still has a chance to make it. He cannot have any more mistakes along the way. May be this week off will do him some good. A win at Indy would be a nice step in the right direction.
We finally have a story that the MSM cannot mess up. Nasa is back in space as we all know. I really don't think they could put a liberal spin on it. Any way, here is a like to a page on Nasa.gov. You are able to watch the shuttle live.
I have been exploring a few other avenues of entertainment.
I took my kids out to Blockbuster the other day and bought Nascar Thunder 2003. Yes, 2003. I know it is used, but it was only ten bucks. I can get my Nascar fix any time I want now. I haven't started a season yet. I am still having problems with a few tracks.
I didn't do my usual Nascar post. Why? Did you watch the race? Junior got put down two laps and never recovered from it. The first lap down was because he got passed because he was in the pits. The other was from the penalty for leaving pit road at 143 MPH from the same pit stop. He needs to keep his cool. One lap down can be recovered from because of the "Lucky Dog". Don't get me started on that. The way I look at that rule is to take advantage of it. If Nascar sets the rules, then everyone is racing by them. He is now 110 point out of 10th with 6 races left until the Chase. He still has a chance to make it. He cannot have any more mistakes along the way. May be this week off will do him some good. A win at Indy would be a nice step in the right direction.
We finally have a story that the MSM cannot mess up. Nasa is back in space as we all know. I really don't think they could put a liberal spin on it. Any way, here is a like to a page on Nasa.gov. You are able to watch the shuttle live.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Smoke has "Spidey Sense" to get to the front
Tony Stewart has three wins in the last four races. He is on top of his game right now. Could he be doing too much too early? We are still seven races away from the Chase. Can he really keep this run for 17 more races to win the championship? Time will only tell. He is one hell of a driver. He can drive the wheels of anything. All you have to do is tell him it is race and he will give it his all. From the looks of it lately, he has been winning the races to the donut table as well. If he keeps winning races and making those climbs to the flag stand and giving back to the fans, he may just loose that little extra.
"Trust me, I'll be glad to be panting like a dog when I get up there," he said. "It's something they like and I'll keep doing it for them."
"Yes, I'm still too old and too fat to be doing that stuff," the 34-year-old driver said. "I'm probably going to fall and bust my butt before its over. I'm glad they let me go through the gate instead of climbing back down."
Bobby Labonte has had a hard luck season. Seated 23, -818 points, he is looking to next year. There has been a lot of speculation about him driving for Gibbs in 2006.
"It's one of those deals that any time you don't run well in this sport, you're going to be in the rumor mill -- that's just part of life, you know?" Gibbs said. "It's the same in the NFL, if you're not performing well.
"Here, you get a report card every week of where you rank-up; from first to 43rd, so you kind of can see that. What people don't see is the team and the teamwork behind it and all the work that goes into it."
"Like I said before on Friday, it's amazing how great the media is for you 90 percent of the time," Labonte said. "That 10 percent that I had on Friday disrupts the race team pretty bad."
"I've got strong ties at Joe Gibbs Racing so I'm not worried about that -- I just want to run good. There is no truth to the rumor (that Labonte is leaving)."
I really don't see Joe Gibbs getting rid of a previous champion. Joe is a football guy and knows that you have bad seasons. Not everybody or every team be at the top of the standings every year. Every week you go out and give a 100% and try for a win or settle for a great finish. Bobby finished third this week, even though he had electrical problems late in the race. He had to turn off all of the fans to allow enough electric to power the engine. This allowed tire pressure to build up. Otherwise it might have been a 1-2 finish for Joe Gibbs Racing.
Also, like in the NFL, you make a few changes in the off season and prepare for the next season. In Nascar, it could be changes in the shop and the pit crew. I am waiting for the day when we start seeing some sort of "Free Agency" when it comes to the guys in the pits. It is a physical and dangerous job to go over the wall. With pit times needing to be faster, the pit crew members are needing to train and be in great condition.
It looks as if we will only have ten drivers in the Chase, as the 400 point cut off is now in the Top 10. Dale Jarrett is in 10th at 418 back. This is now the covetted spot, which creates a new "Chase".
Matt Kenseth is in 16th, 150 points behind Jarrett. This late in the season, that
is pushing it. I really don't think he has a chance of making it. Jamie McMurray
will probably make sure of it next week. He never did his retaliation. "I just kind of got dumped," McMurray said. "It was pretty deliberate."
Jeff Gordon is in 15th at 120 back of the 88. He is hanging on hope at this
point. He would be a lot closer if his brakes didn't fail towards the end
yesterday.
Kevin Harvick in 14th, -105, needs to put some Top 10s. If he can start doing that on a regular basis again, he will be in the Chase.
Dale Earnhardt Jr is 13th at 59 points back of Jarrett. It could become the new "Dale -n- Dale Show". With a 3rd, 1st, and 9th place finish in the last three weeks, there has been a new breath of life for this team. It looks as if Nascar will get its "Most Favorite Driver" in the Chase.
Carl Edwards sitting 12th at 54 points out is nothing to look past. Even though I don't like him for he is a Roush driver, he is a strong contender to make it.
Jamie McMurray got the shaft this past week by Kenseth. McMurray lost three positions this week, falling out of the Top 10. His is 21 points out. As long as Jamie doesn't get into a car war with the 17, this past week will only be a minor set back. Don't look past the fact that he is only 114 points out of 5th. From Kurt Busch on back it is packed full of drivers.
Nothing is set in stone as of yet.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Winning is the best Medicine
With the news of Michael Waltrip leaving DEI at the end of the season, Truex did what he knows best, WIN. He held Carl Edwards off on a Green-White-Checkered to get his fifth and series leading win of the season. He has a total of 11 Busch Series wins in his career and building. There is 15 races left in the season and Truex has built a commanding lead of 142 points over Clint Bowyer. Even though Carl Edwards missed a race at Nashville Superspeedway, Martin has enough points over Carl to cover one race. Carl is 220 points out. Yes, he would be more of a contender for the Championship, but that is the price you pay for being a dumbass, trying to do two full seasons at once, and not to mention, driving for Roush Racing.
Michael Waltrip moving on is a big blow to DEI. I didn't see this coming. If you read the article linked above, you can see that it all came down to Mikey wanting Tony Eury Jr. as his crew chief. With that looking to be the sticking point, it hints that Tony will be in charge of Dale Jr's pit crew again.
In an earlier post, I predicted that Mikey would easily renew his contract. I like my crow medium-rare. I looked over the fields in both Nextel and Busch. I really don't see any canidates for the 15-car. In the next few weeks, I am sure there will be names in the rumor mill. Once I see something credible, I will be blogging one way or the other.
I would like to say that I have enjoyed the seasons with Mikey behind the wheel. Good luck in the rest of your career.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Job Application (from insanepictures.com)
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Dale Earnhardt Jr get first win of season at Chicagoland
This is exactly what this team needed, a win. To find the winners circle is a big step in the right direction. Dale Jr chased down his first victory of 2005.
The last of 10 caution flags waved on Lap 249, when Mike Bliss and Jeff Gordon crashed, giving all the leaders a last chance to pit on a day when right-side tires were blistering and causing numerous blowouts and crashes.
Scott Wimmer stayed on the track and took the lead, while Earnhardt and several other drivers took only two tires and moved ahead of both Kenseth and Tony Stewart, who took four tires after coming into the pits first and second. (They came out 9th and 10th.)
The green flag came out on Lap 255, and it took Earnhardt three laps to get past Wimmer, who then faded quickly. (Wimmer gambled and finished 17th.)Meanwhile, Kenseth charged toward the front, grabbing second place from Brian Vickers on Lap 261.
But Kenseth couldn't catch Earnhardt, finishing about five car-lengths back.
I do admit, Matt Kenseth had the dominate car. For the longest time, him and Tony Stewart drove away from the field. Yes, that Tony that wrecked in practice and had to start from last because JJ Yeley qualified his car. He can drive the wheels of anything. The short pit strategy late in the race was key for Jr. I told my wife this morning that he was going to pull off something like that for a win. With last week's top five finish and this week's win, this team is starting to standup again. Hopefully eight more weeks of it to be eligible for the playoffs.
Congrats Junior!!!
Now only the Top 10 reside with the invitations for the Chase. Dale Jarrett is only nine points out at 409. Carl Edwards -475, Dale Jr -491, Kevin Harvick -496, and Jeff Gordon -502 still have a eight weeks to get under the 400 point cutt off.
Wednesday, July 6, 2005
Monday, July 4, 2005
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Nascar Update
Tony Stewart dominates Daytona
What more is there to say? Tony Stewart just crushed the competition at Daytona. He led 151 of 160 laps. This is two wins in a row for Smoke. He is showing now, that he is ready for the Chase to begin. He may even enter the Chase in the points lead. He is only 136 pts out of first. Hopefully he keeps some of this bottled up until then. He will be attempting to go after his second championship this year. If they keep building cars like that, Tony will be able to drive off with a passenger.
As for Junior, he finished in 3rd. This is keeps his season on life support as he is now 506 points out. He needs to make up 106 to qualify for the post season. May be this is the "push" in the right direction. I think now that everything has been put out in the open, the emotional baggage, and the in-team rivalry put aside, both Michael Waltrip's and Dale Jr's seasons are going to make dramatic turns. Look for them both to make the Chase.
There is now 13 drivers eligible for the Chase, which is in nine weeks. If you watch any of NBC last night, that was pounded into your head. Who will finally make the cut? There are some serious contenders in there. Rusty Wallace is 205 points back in 5th. He could make his final year, his best year. If Mark Martin (8th, -310) stays out of the kind of trouble that he got into last night, he could do the same. Kurt Busch (9th, -348) knows how to use the points racing to his advantage. That is how he got last year's championship.
There is no one age group dominating the points this year. It is spread out amongst the field. This could be a very interesting year, if there is more than ten in the Chase. There would be a lot of mid week hype in the news medial. The stories would be endless, just what Nascar is looking for during NFL season. I have to say, what keeps me motivated about Junior's chances is that Nascar commercial about Jeremy Mayfield (11th, -349) making it into the Chase on the last lap of the 26th race. Keep diggin' JR.
The two droppers of the week were Mark Martin and Carl Edwards (12th, -351). They both lost three positions in the standings due to wrecking out. The biggest jumper was Dale Jarrett of two spots to 10th, -348.
Two of Three Locked Up
After Martin Truex Jr's win Friday night in the Busch Series, he announced a three year contract extension to stay with DEI. The only adjustment is that they will bring his crew, car, sponser and all to the Nextel Cup Series. This is relief to fans, as Truex has been apart of the Silly Season rumor mill.
While I was catching up this great news, I found this. Michael Waltrip doesn't have a contract for next season. I willing to go out on a limb here and say, now that Truex is under contract, DEI can focus on resigning Waltrip. It may take him to qualify for the Chase, but I don't think that DEI would hold their mistake of the car swap fiasco against Mikey. I see the three horse stall of Junior, Truex, and Waltrip next season.
Saturday, July 2, 2005
Pre-Nascar Update
I just want to say for now. After watching two and a half hours of Countdown to Green/NBC Nascar Pre-Race, I would like a dollar for every time I hear Chase for the Cup or any reference there of.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Drinking Buddies
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Syracuse, N.Y. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck with nothing to do.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz --- You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch. They get completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side-effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have ahangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing...Have you farted yet?"
"No...."
"Well, DON'T. I'm in Los Angeles.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz --- You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch. They get completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side-effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have ahangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing...Have you farted yet?"
"No...."
"Well, DON'T. I'm in Los Angeles.
Where does the time go?
I just realized that I haven't made any kind of post in five days. I was going to make a post after this past weekend's race. What is there to write about a 42nd finish? That just sucked. Out on lap three. A day when JR could really take advantage of Jimmy having a bad day, he has one himself. I guess that keeps the hope alive, barely. The good news out of this past weekend was that Truex is now the points leader for the Busch Series. Time to build on that and run away with the repeat. Now that he has the points lead, look for him to sign that contract for DEI. There is now 13 drivers for the Chase for the Cup. With 10 weeks to go, it is time to start making some ground to get under 400, or pack it in and prepare for next year.
I also have another reason why this post is so late...
NORTONS SUCKS!!!
I received a uh certain type of software from a friend of a friend that had a full version of Nortons. IT STILL SUCKS. I have been attacked by numerous viruses over the past weekend. I am sure if I looked into it more, Nortons is probably the maker of the virus so I would have to pay to get it removed. Well needless to say, I uninstalled Nortons and put AVG back on. Guess what??? It found viruses and also removed them. How about that, a software that actually does what it supposed to freakin do!!! Note to self, AVG is my friend.
I also have another reason why this post is so late...
NORTONS SUCKS!!!
I received a uh certain type of software from a friend of a friend that had a full version of Nortons. IT STILL SUCKS. I have been attacked by numerous viruses over the past weekend. I am sure if I looked into it more, Nortons is probably the maker of the virus so I would have to pay to get it removed. Well needless to say, I uninstalled Nortons and put AVG back on. Guess what??? It found viruses and also removed them. How about that, a software that actually does what it supposed to freakin do!!! Note to self, AVG is my friend.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
This Little Piggy Went to the Market
This little piggy went to the market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none,
And this little piggy Cried “wee-wee-wee” All the way home.
WAIT!!! What in the hell did this piggy do?
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none,
And this little piggy Cried “wee-wee-wee” All the way home.
WAIT!!! What in the hell did this piggy do?
Monday, June 20, 2005
This Week In Nascar...
Mark Martin at the Batman Begins 400 at Michigan Speedway
Can you believe it? Dale Jr. actually finished on the lead lap. Hold on tight for this one. He actaully gained ONE POINT on Jimmy Jackass. I was taught in school that a positive is better than a negative. This just might be the turning point for Jr's season. Yeah, we'll see. Next week is a road course. Anything can happen. JR is my driver. I will not give up on him. I have learned to take the good with the bad. So, I am looking for next year to be an awesome year. JR is now 503 points back in 17th.
With eleven weeks till the Chase, there are only eleven drivers left. It looks like the only way that we will have more than ten drivers in the Chase this year is if Jackass and Biffle both have a DNF sometime soon. So much for wishful thinking. Jeff Gordon is the lastest star to drop from eligibility for the Chase. I wonder when the press is going to start writing about and interviewing the shit out of him. The press's boy-wonder is not in the Chase. BOO FREAKIN' HOO!!!
I was pulling for Tony, Sunday. I really thought he was going to pull it off. No problem though. He was the biggest jumper of the week of four spots to 6th, at 311 points back. The biggest dropper of the week that is still in the Chase is Kevin Harvick of three spots to 10th, at 370 points back. Jeff Gordon was the biggest dropper of the week that fell out of the Chase to 12th, at 406 points back.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Good Joke or Life Lesson?
My girlfriend and I had been dating happily for over a year when we
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my
friends definitely encouraged me. My girlfriend???? She was a dream!
Everything you would want in a woman. There was only one thing bothering
me....... That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, quite attractive,
wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend
down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It
had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me
that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She
told me that she wanted ! to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up
and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went
straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight
toward my car in a hurry.
To my surprise, my future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes, he hugged me emphatically and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family son!!!!!"
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my
friends definitely encouraged me. My girlfriend???? She was a dream!
Everything you would want in a woman. There was only one thing bothering
me....... That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, quite attractive,
wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend
down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It
had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me
that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She
told me that she wanted ! to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up
and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went
straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight
toward my car in a hurry.
To my surprise, my future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes, he hugged me emphatically and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family son!!!!!"
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Monday, June 13, 2005
JR Race Chatter
Thanks at least a million and change to the good people who do public relations work for Anheuser-Busch and Dale Earnhardt Jr. for sending this along. Pretty rich stuff.
Best Radio Chatter:
Dale Jr. remained calm, but frustrated, after a second flat tire caused a fairly ominous fire and damage to the left-front corner of the car.
Dale Jr: “Flat tire. Left front’s flat.”
Steve Hmiel (crew chief): “10-4. Gotcha.”
Jimmy Kitchens (spotter): “There’s a lotta sparks. It looks like it’s down on the front sway bar.”
Hmiel: “The left front’s not turnin.’ Let’s get those fire extinguishers…. (to Junior) Do you have brakes? Put that fire out first. Put out the fire… you alright in there June?”
Dale Jr: “’Bout as good as I could be, I guess….”
Hmiel: “Just makin’ sure you’re still breathin’ alright in there.”
Dale Jr.: “What’s cutting the left fronts down?”
Hmiel: “We don’t know. We aren’t crazy on air pressures or camber. It’s the fourth one so far today.”
Dale Jr.: “I’ll ride it to the third flat tire, but then you can get somebody else to get in here for the fourth…”
Can this season get any worse for Junior? It is something every week. You think that the bad luck streak would eventually break. I guess that is also a part of being a die-hard fan. You put up with bad with the good. Last year at this time, JR was first in the points. Well, this year he is in 16th, 504 points back. I think the only thing that could save this season is a bad luck streak for Jimmie Jackass. It doesn't look like that is going to happen. The Hendrick teams have their shit together this year.
Sunday was a bitter sweet day for Carl Edwards (99-Nextel, 60-Busch). He won at Pocono, PA for the Nextel Series. He fell to fourth in the points in the Busch Series because the race was in Nashville, TN and he wasn't there for the race. If Nascar would have started the Busch race Saturday night, even for one lap, Edwards would have been "the driver of record". This would have allowed another driver to drive for him and Edwards to get all the points earned by that driver. But that didn't happen. Reed Sorenson now leads the Busch Series points with Martin Truex Jr and Clint Bowyer 51 points back. Carl is 96 points back.
We are now down to twelve drivers for the Chase. Carl Edwards was the big jumper of five spots to 4th, 303 points back. Tony Stewart was the big dropper of the week of five spots to 10th, 380 points back. With only 12 races left, it doesn't look good for either DEI driver. They both need a lot of help!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Thursday, June 9, 2005
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
Monday, June 6, 2005
This week in Nascar...
Well, this week sucked for DEI. Now both drivers are out, looking in on the Chase. JR fell out this week due to a 22nd finish. He is now 15ht, 418 points back of Jackass. Michael Waltrip's season isn't getting any better. He sits 17th, 493 back. If it wasn't for bad luck, they would have no luck at all this year. Half of the regular season is now over. This next half has to have a lot happen for these two or just one to make the Chase.
The biggest highlight of the weekend in the Cup was Tony punting Jeff Gordon. He had every right to. If it was the closing laps, I could see blocking for position and points. If you have a slower car during the race, especially that early, move the fuck out of the way. Like Tony said, "All he had to do was move up and let us go and 20 laps later if he was faster we would've let him go right back by." Nascar is turning into a "me first" mentality. Respect and courtesy for other drivers has flown out the window. I think it all started when SR died. There is no one on the track to keep everyone in check. If Tony needs to be the man to do that job, so be it. I will back him almost every time.
I can't list all of his post race quotes. They were all good. I love this quote from Tony because it is the truth.
"Jeff's always whining like that. If somebody does something to Jeff it's always their fault. That's just Jeff Gordon."
It looks as if the best way for some of these drivers to get their season back on track, will be for Biffle and Jackass to wreck into each other. The biggest jumper of the week was Mark Martin of 6 spots. He now sits 6th, 324 back. The biggest dropper of the week was Jeff Gordon of 6 spots. He now sits 11th, 350 back. JR and Jarrett were those that fell out of the Chase.
I know this is from the Busch Series, but I have to get this out. Congrats to Martin Truex Jr on his win this week. That is his third this year. He is now sitting 3rd, 120 points behind Carl Edwards. Keep it up Truex! A repeat championship, just like your car owner, before coming up to the cup would be awesome. Keep digging!!!
The biggest highlight of the weekend in the Cup was Tony punting Jeff Gordon. He had every right to. If it was the closing laps, I could see blocking for position and points. If you have a slower car during the race, especially that early, move the fuck out of the way. Like Tony said, "All he had to do was move up and let us go and 20 laps later if he was faster we would've let him go right back by." Nascar is turning into a "me first" mentality. Respect and courtesy for other drivers has flown out the window. I think it all started when SR died. There is no one on the track to keep everyone in check. If Tony needs to be the man to do that job, so be it. I will back him almost every time.
I can't list all of his post race quotes. They were all good. I love this quote from Tony because it is the truth.
"Jeff's always whining like that. If somebody does something to Jeff it's always their fault. That's just Jeff Gordon."
It looks as if the best way for some of these drivers to get their season back on track, will be for Biffle and Jackass to wreck into each other. The biggest jumper of the week was Mark Martin of 6 spots. He now sits 6th, 324 back. The biggest dropper of the week was Jeff Gordon of 6 spots. He now sits 11th, 350 back. JR and Jarrett were those that fell out of the Chase.
I know this is from the Busch Series, but I have to get this out. Congrats to Martin Truex Jr on his win this week. That is his third this year. He is now sitting 3rd, 120 points behind Carl Edwards. Keep it up Truex! A repeat championship, just like your car owner, before coming up to the cup would be awesome. Keep digging!!!
Saturday, June 4, 2005
Please let this be true
IRAQ: FALLUJAH SHEIKH SAYS AL-ZARQAWI DIED ON FRIDAY
It figures that I read this on a blog before I read it on any MSM website.
It figures that I read this on a blog before I read it on any MSM website.
Two Dead Blondes
One blond says to another, "how did you die?"
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful" says the first blonde. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second blonde. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping."
"How about you, how did you die?" asked the second blonde.
"I had a heart attack," says the first blonde. "You see I knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.
The second blonde shakes her head. "What a pity ... if you had only looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful" says the first blonde. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second blonde. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping."
"How about you, how did you die?" asked the second blonde.
"I had a heart attack," says the first blonde. "You see I knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.
The second blonde shakes her head. "What a pity ... if you had only looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
The evolution of math since 1950
Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)
Teaching Math In 2005
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de la
producción es $80 ....
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is
$80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)
Teaching Math In 2005
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de la
producción es $80 ....
I'm Back!!!
Oh shit, you're fucked now!!!
That's right. I am back from my hiatus of moving. Moving sucks. I think I am done for now. There are a few boxes still to go through and put away. I can live with what we have out now. It is going to take some time to get use to being in this house. Everyone seems to like it. I hope it is not some kind of jinx. Hell, my Mom can't stop talking about it. Mrs B keeps telling me when she gets off the phone with my Mom, that she is always talking about something new. I thought I was bad. To top it off, my step-Dad likes it. It is hard to impress him. I think the only people that we have left to show are Mrs B's parents. Hell, like that is going to happen. The only way that is going to happen is if we email pics. They don't ever visit. Don't get me started on that, I digress. Being a homeowner is going to be a full time job. Now that it is mine, I am willing to do the repairs necessary. Hell, before with renting, I told the slumlord. If he didn't fix it, I said fuck it. Now it is my responsibility. I am willing take that on. I love a challenge. Well, I have some blogs to catch up on. I will try to post something else soon. During the move I was supplied with a new arsenal of photos and jokes. I will keep them coming.
That's right. I am back from my hiatus of moving. Moving sucks. I think I am done for now. There are a few boxes still to go through and put away. I can live with what we have out now. It is going to take some time to get use to being in this house. Everyone seems to like it. I hope it is not some kind of jinx. Hell, my Mom can't stop talking about it. Mrs B keeps telling me when she gets off the phone with my Mom, that she is always talking about something new. I thought I was bad. To top it off, my step-Dad likes it. It is hard to impress him. I think the only people that we have left to show are Mrs B's parents. Hell, like that is going to happen. The only way that is going to happen is if we email pics. They don't ever visit. Don't get me started on that, I digress. Being a homeowner is going to be a full time job. Now that it is mine, I am willing to do the repairs necessary. Hell, before with renting, I told the slumlord. If he didn't fix it, I said fuck it. Now it is my responsibility. I am willing take that on. I love a challenge. Well, I have some blogs to catch up on. I will try to post something else soon. During the move I was supplied with a new arsenal of photos and jokes. I will keep them coming.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
General Lee
I took the kids to see their first live Demolition Derby. Wow! It was fun. They even had the General Lee in it. Good to see she can still take a beating. I can really tell my daughter is a Tom-Boy. She couldn't stop talking about it. Oh, I haven't mentioned, she also enjoys watching The Contender.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Damn Taxes
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1, 2005, your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10-12" Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10" Pole Tax $25.00
5-8" Privilege Tax $15.00
4-5" Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!!!
IRS NOTE: We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
What if one's penis is self employed?
Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
Effective January 1, 2005, your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10-12" Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10" Pole Tax $25.00
5-8" Privilege Tax $15.00
4-5" Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!!!
IRS NOTE: We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:
Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
What if one's penis is self employed?
Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Quake Pre-Alert
Now Californian's will be warned before they fall off into the ocean.
http://pasadena.wr.usgs.gov/step/
http://pasadena.wr.usgs.gov/step/
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Fonda Film Banned From Ky. Theaters
ELIZABETHTOWN, Ky. — The owner of two Kentucky theaters has refused to show the new Jane Fonda film "Monster-in-Law" because of the activist role the actress took during the Vietnam War.
"I think Vietnam veterans appreciate this," said Mancuso, who fought in the Mekong Delta during the Vietnam war. "There is no defense for what she did."
Boutwell also banned previous Jane Fonda films, as well as Michael Moore's film, "Fahrenheit 9/11."
"I think Vietnam veterans appreciate this," said Mancuso, who fought in the Mekong Delta during the Vietnam war. "There is no defense for what she did."
Boutwell also banned previous Jane Fonda films, as well as Michael Moore's film, "Fahrenheit 9/11."
Ashton, Topher Departing 'That '70s Show'
The Formans' basement is about to get a little less crowded. After seven seasons, up-and-coming stars Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace are putting "That '70s Show" behind them, opting to leap into the present and pursue other projects. But by the hugs and tears at the finale, you can tell the decision was bittersweet.
This show has one more season left. When your main character leaves, it is time to pack it up. It will be interesting to see why Kelso left, but we have to wait until next season.
And are we finally going to learn what Fez's nationality is?
"We will find out where Fez is from this year," Valderrama told FOX.
This show has one more season left. When your main character leaves, it is time to pack it up. It will be interesting to see why Kelso left, but we have to wait until next season.
And are we finally going to learn what Fez's nationality is?
"We will find out where Fez is from this year," Valderrama told FOX.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Always a bride's maid...
...finally a bride!!!
Last night I took my family out to dinner. When we arrived home, I turned on the television just in time to see Jimmy Jackass put his car into the wall. Then after the initial wreck and trying to get back to the pits, something broke in the steering and then he hit the inside wall. HAHA, he finished 40th. I thought to myself, this is going to help a lot of drivers that are in and out of the chase. After dancing a jig in celebration of Jackass wrecking, I went into the kitchen, got a Coke, and settled down to watch the rest of the race.
Last night was the Kasey/Tony show. Those two battled back and forth all night. Tony was strong at the beginning of the runs, while Kasey fell back. The announcers figured out that Kasey was going with low air pressure at the beginning of the runs because he always fell back. On long green runs, Kasey would then haul ass and fly by Tony. At the end, Kasey prevailed to get his first win in the Nextel Cup Series after finishing second six times in previous races. Congrats to Kasey Kahne.
With Jimmy Jackass wrecking, we now have 19 drivers eligible for the Chase. There are 15 races left. I think we will have more than ten drivers in this year's Chase. With more drivers in the post season, the more fans are going to tune in to watch the late season races. This will put Nascar in strong competition with the NFL. That is still months away, we will talk more about that when the time comes.
Kasey's win made him the Big Jumper of the week (that is eligble) of four spots to settle in at 15th (-301). Mark Martin is the Big Dropper of the week of four spots, now 10th (-218). Dale Jr fell out of the Top 10, falling two spots to 11th (-229). Jackass still leads in the points, but only by 41 points to Greg Biffle. Keving Harvick is back in the Top 10 at 8th (-198). Sterling Marlin is towing the line in 19th (-394).
Last night I took my family out to dinner. When we arrived home, I turned on the television just in time to see Jimmy Jackass put his car into the wall. Then after the initial wreck and trying to get back to the pits, something broke in the steering and then he hit the inside wall. HAHA, he finished 40th. I thought to myself, this is going to help a lot of drivers that are in and out of the chase. After dancing a jig in celebration of Jackass wrecking, I went into the kitchen, got a Coke, and settled down to watch the rest of the race.
Last night was the Kasey/Tony show. Those two battled back and forth all night. Tony was strong at the beginning of the runs, while Kasey fell back. The announcers figured out that Kasey was going with low air pressure at the beginning of the runs because he always fell back. On long green runs, Kasey would then haul ass and fly by Tony. At the end, Kasey prevailed to get his first win in the Nextel Cup Series after finishing second six times in previous races. Congrats to Kasey Kahne.
With Jimmy Jackass wrecking, we now have 19 drivers eligible for the Chase. There are 15 races left. I think we will have more than ten drivers in this year's Chase. With more drivers in the post season, the more fans are going to tune in to watch the late season races. This will put Nascar in strong competition with the NFL. That is still months away, we will talk more about that when the time comes.
Kasey's win made him the Big Jumper of the week (that is eligble) of four spots to settle in at 15th (-301). Mark Martin is the Big Dropper of the week of four spots, now 10th (-218). Dale Jr fell out of the Top 10, falling two spots to 11th (-229). Jackass still leads in the points, but only by 41 points to Greg Biffle. Keving Harvick is back in the Top 10 at 8th (-198). Sterling Marlin is towing the line in 19th (-394).
Friday, May 13, 2005
Whats going on?
I really don't have anything to write about tonight. I have been so drained with working and packing, I haven't had time to sit in front of the computer. I just thought I would comment on just about anything I can find in the news. Hell, I do this for myself any way since I only get comments from one person. I know he likes the stuff I put up. I know there are others, just still hunting for comments.
"The jig is up." But I am sure this isn't the end of this story. The LSM (Lame Steam Media) will not let this story die until they get a conviction. The only cool thing is, is that Wendy's is giving away FREE Small Frostys. Thanks Anna.
Tiger chokes after seven years!!! It happens to the best of them.
Quit bullshittin' and vote already. I could get first graders to vote faster on if they wanted ice cream or cookies for a snack.
It is about time someone came to their senses.
"In this situation, the reasonable observer must be deemed aware of the patriotic uses, both historical and present, of the phrase `In God We Trust,"' Judge Robert King wrote. The court said the inscription would be unconstitutional if it served a religious purpose.
Broken toe update: It is doing better. I am actually wearing a normal shoe. I felt weird at first. I am going to take my time with it. I don't need to break it again. It is two weeks away from moving day. I have plenty of furniture to carry.
Well, going to spend some time with the family before bed time.
"The jig is up." But I am sure this isn't the end of this story. The LSM (Lame Steam Media) will not let this story die until they get a conviction. The only cool thing is, is that Wendy's is giving away FREE Small Frostys. Thanks Anna.
Tiger chokes after seven years!!! It happens to the best of them.
Quit bullshittin' and vote already. I could get first graders to vote faster on if they wanted ice cream or cookies for a snack.
It is about time someone came to their senses.
"In this situation, the reasonable observer must be deemed aware of the patriotic uses, both historical and present, of the phrase `In God We Trust,"' Judge Robert King wrote. The court said the inscription would be unconstitutional if it served a religious purpose.
Broken toe update: It is doing better. I am actually wearing a normal shoe. I felt weird at first. I am going to take my time with it. I don't need to break it again. It is two weeks away from moving day. I have plenty of furniture to carry.
Well, going to spend some time with the family before bed time.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
HUH?
This has me scratching my head. How is it that one of the ferret brothers get off with no fine, when last year JR got fined and docked 25 points for saying "shit"? Let me get this straight. You can't slip and accidently curse during a celebration after winning a hard fought race. You can act like a whining little bitch, throw a fit, and disrespect a Nascar official. I am sure we will hear from Dale Jr real soon.
Yet another dumbass
I would like to say thank you and a job well done by our military. They did what was necessary to protect everyone around the White House today. Now lets see what this nut-job was up too. That is what I haven't heard as of yet. Next time could be worse. Instead of flares, the next dumbass could be shot down.
Monday, May 9, 2005
Nascar Update
I figured since I was in the blogging mood I should get out my weekly update on the points chase. There are 16 races left until the Chase. We are now down to 15. Now out are Jeff Burton, Michael Waltrip, and Sterling Marlin.
Jeff Green is an ass. What is his deal? He thinks if he waits a month to get some chip off his shoulder it is okay? That was bullshit. He was running up on or checking up on Waltrip. Finally Mikey got his revenge. In my book, he had every right to do what he did to Green. Now after they have both been called to the Nascar trailer, I think this fued is over.
Jimmy Jackass still leads in the points at 1519. The two biggest jumpers were Mark Martin and Ryan Newman of five spots. Martin 6th and Newman 10th are the newcomers to the Top 10. The drivers to fall out were Kevin Harvick and Dale Jarrett. Jeremy Mayfield is towing the line in 15th at 386 back. Jeff Burton is on the outside looking in at 406 back. JR is still 9th at -307.
Jeff Green is an ass. What is his deal? He thinks if he waits a month to get some chip off his shoulder it is okay? That was bullshit. He was running up on or checking up on Waltrip. Finally Mikey got his revenge. In my book, he had every right to do what he did to Green. Now after they have both been called to the Nascar trailer, I think this fued is over.
Jimmy Jackass still leads in the points at 1519. The two biggest jumpers were Mark Martin and Ryan Newman of five spots. Martin 6th and Newman 10th are the newcomers to the Top 10. The drivers to fall out were Kevin Harvick and Dale Jarrett. Jeremy Mayfield is towing the line in 15th at 386 back. Jeff Burton is on the outside looking in at 406 back. JR is still 9th at -307.
Hey All
I HATE MOVING!!! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to get out of this hell hole. But going through old shit and packing everything in boxes suck. I started getting things boxed up yesterday. I will be back at it again today. I want to attempt to move everything in one day. I know it is a pipe dream, but we are not moving too far from where we are now and I have plenty of help lined up.
The reason I have't made any posts in four days is because I have been running around getting paper work filled out and signed. Damn, I didn't know buying a house was like running around in a rat maze.
The housing inspector met me last Thursday. Overall the house is in really good condition. The major problem was that the electric service cable housing was dry rotted. This leads to moisture/water entering the cable and proceeding to the circuit breaker box. Some of the breakers were corroded. An electrician is supposed to be there today to repair it all with no expense to me. The present owners have to have it repaired before the sale can go through.
Well, I have to get back to packing. If I don't post, you all know what fun I am having. Speaking of not posting in a while, where is ALMTTR???
The reason I have't made any posts in four days is because I have been running around getting paper work filled out and signed. Damn, I didn't know buying a house was like running around in a rat maze.
The housing inspector met me last Thursday. Overall the house is in really good condition. The major problem was that the electric service cable housing was dry rotted. This leads to moisture/water entering the cable and proceeding to the circuit breaker box. Some of the breakers were corroded. An electrician is supposed to be there today to repair it all with no expense to me. The present owners have to have it repaired before the sale can go through.
Well, I have to get back to packing. If I don't post, you all know what fun I am having. Speaking of not posting in a while, where is ALMTTR???
Thursday, May 5, 2005
Monday, May 2, 2005
21 Guns for Airboss
The loss of a loved one, a companion, a friend can be hard to take as we miss them. For what we miss is what we now know made them so special in our lives. We take a part of them and pass on in our lives to our friends and family as to keep their memory alive. Goodbye to our dear friend Airboss, may his ashes Rest in Peace in a .50 cal ammo can. May we have a moment of silence, along with 21 gun salute. Our prayers and condolences go with Elaine, family, and friends.
Goodbye
In one month I will be saying goodbye to this view of downtown Cincinnati. It has been my view out my back door of the house we have been renting for the last five years. I was just approved and the contract agreed upon tonight for a new house. Now we have to get past the house inspector. The last house I had inspected was infested with termites. I am keeping my fingers crossed on this one. Mrs. B and I really want this one.
Up in the Top 10
If you are a fan of the "Big One", you got your fill this weekend. There was one in the Cup Series (25 cars at Lap 132) as well as on in the Busch Series (16 cars at Lap 17). Had one early, had one late. It really doesn't matter. When you loose that many cars in one wreck, it reeks havoc on the points standings. At one time JR was up to sixth in the points. He settled into the Top 10 at nineth. He might not lead in the points, but he is really setting himself up to guarantee himself a spot in the Chase for the Cup.
He could have had a Top 10 finish if it weren't for Jimmy Jackass. I don't remember which turn it was, but as they were coming out of the turn he scrapped the wall. When he freaked out and over corrected to get off the wall, he slammed into the side of Kevin Harvick, who clipped JR's car and turned him into the wall. Somehow Truex's car was clipped which sent him across the grass and he hit the inside wall. There were a few other drivers collected into it. What was real funny, was when Jackass was coming out of the Infield Care Center he was stopped by one of the Fox reporters. Jimmy started coming off with something about someone hitting him. In mid sentence, the reporter stopped him and said something to the effect of "wait, watch this." When they reviewed the clip, Jackass's car was never touched. He went off into the wall all by himself!!! Finally, after all of these weeks, you finally get caught up in your own shit. There is no one to blame this time for your "over driving, coming out of the corner, I can't keep up with Dale Jr. at 'Dega late in the race" mess except for yourself. You got called out on nation tv. HAHAHA. You finally got a taste of your own. Hell, you set off the "Big One" when you clipped the 4 car with your back bumper going after McMurray. But, since the Fox guys want to be so far up the points leader's ass (only to be out of Mike Helton's), they called it a "series of events" that caused it. Don't get me started on the Hollywood Hotel. That has done run its course. Don't mind the pun.
Well, after Dega, this is how the points look as of now. Tony Stewart made the biggest jump of eight spots this week to put him back in the Top 10, of sixth. Ryan Newman and Sterling Marlin took the biggest drops of the week of eight spots, to fall back to 15th and 17th. The drivers that weren't in the Top 10 that are in this week are Stewart, Jarrett, Harvick, Earnhardt Jr., and McMurray. Those out are Martin, Wallace, Edwards, Newman, and Marlin. They were all in the "Big One". Michael Waltrip is the driver that moved back into the Chase. No one fell out of the Chase.
Things look to be settling down at DEI. JR's pit crew actaully pulled off a 14.4 sec 4 tire pit stop. I was really surprized when I just watched at Bristol about a month ago them prancing around the car. It is about time someone lit a fire under their asses.
Next week should be very interesting. Make sure you wear the appropriate attire as the next race on the schedule is Darlington, the "Lady in Black" for the Dodge Charger 500. The race is on Saturday. You know what that means, NIGHT RACING.
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