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JOB PREDICTOR

KFC Special

Dr. Phil

DR. PHIL WAS CONDUCTING A GROUP THERAPY SESSION WITH FOUR YOUNG MOTHERS AND THEIR SMALL CHILDREN.

"YOU ALL HAVE OBSESSIONS," HE OBSERVED.

TO THE FIRST MOTHER, HE SAID, "YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EATING. YOU'VE EVEN NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER CANDY."

HE TURNED TO THE SECOND MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS WITH MONEY. AGAIN, IT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, PENNY."

HE TURNS TO THE THIRD MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS ALCOHOL. THIS, TOO, MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, BRANDY."

AT THIS POINT, THE FOURTH MOTHER GETS UP TAKES HER LITTLE BOY BY THE HAND AND WHISPERS, "COME ON DICK, WE'RE LEAVING."

Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen

I had my ass handed to my on a silver platter. I will have cole slaw and fries with that. I lost 83-48. It was all because of matchups. My players had harder matchups compared to the Krushers. We will have a rematch in week 10. The Intimidators look to bounce back against an 0-3 team. It would be nice to hand my ex-boss his fourth loss of the season. He gloated when he whooped on me the past two seasons. Time for payback.

Get your own Superhero name

SUPER HERO NAME

UK vs Duke

A Duke family of basketball supporters headed out one Saturday to shop
for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop the son
picks up a Kentucky jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided
to become a Wildcat fan and I would like this Kentucky jersey for my
birthday".

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother".

Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother.
"Mom?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I
would like this jersey for my birthday". The mother is outraged at
this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your
father!"

Off he goes with the Kentucky jersey in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I
would like this jersey for my birthday". The father is outraged and
promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is
ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all
back in the car and heading towards home.

The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned
something today?" The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have." "Good son, what
is it?" The son replies, "I've only been a Kentucky fan for an hour and I
already hate you Duke bastards."

I have to post my own work. GOC beat me to it, but with his suggestion, I put the 2000 on it.

When name calling is not swearing...Part 5 (final installment)

KYI 2-0

With a totally dominating performance, I won my fantasy football game 71-43. There is only three undefeated teams left in the league. Next week we take on Kaiser's Krushers. I am not going to take this team easy. I am favored already by 11. Should be an interesting game. 3-0 would be a nice way to start the season.

When name calling is not swearing...Part 4

When name calling is not swearing...Part 3

When name calling is not swearing...Part 2

When name calling is not swearing...Part 1

And then there were ten...

Nascar Update - The Chase Begins...

With the Chase finally beginning with next week's race at New Hampshire, I just want to put out (again) that I am pulling for Tony Stewart. All five of Roush's cars will be out there, this is going to be a tough challenge. GO TONY!!!

1. 20 - Tony Stewart - 5050 - Will hold on to the lead and win a second championship
2. 16 - Greg Biffle - 5045 - Good charge at the end of the regular season
3. 2 - Rusty Wallace - 5040 - Rusty's Last Call, could a championship be served with that?
4. 48 - Jimmie Johnson - 5035 - JACKASS
5. 97 - Kurt Busch - 5030 - The Ferret-brother will not repeat
6. 6 - Mark Martin - 5025 - Would be nice to see him get one before he retires...NEXT YEAR
7. 19 - Jeremy Marfield - 5020 - Hey Jer-e-my!
8. 99 - Carl Edwards - 5015 - Can't wait to see him land on his head one of these times
8. 17 - Matt Kenseth - 5015 - Ok, you kept Gordan out, time to hit the wall
10. 12 - Ryan Newman - 5005 - Same as Kenseth, maybe Jarrett can help you with that

Kentucky Intimidators 1-0

After the conclusion of Sunday's games, KYI won their season opener 36-28. There is a still a long season to go. There may be a few changes to the team come later this week. Look for Kyle Boller to be cut. The problem will come with finding a decent QB to use for a back up (ie Favre's bye week). Speaking of Favre, hopefully this week was an off week. May be dressing more than four receivers could help. How can you have and depth/rotation with only four WRs in GB?

Now for your 2005-2006 Kentucky Intimidators

QB-GB Brett Favre
RB-DAL Julius Jones
WR-CIN Chad Johnson
WR-DEN Ashley Lelie
WR-OAK Randy Moss
TE-NYG Jeremy Shockey
K-CIN Shayne Graham
DST-OAK Raiders

Bench
QB-BAL Kyle Boller
QB-GB Craig Nall
RB-TEN Chris Brown
RB-PHI Brian Westbrook
WR-OAK Jerry Porter
WR-NO Donte Stallworth
WR-ATL Roddy White
TE-DEN Jeb Putzier
K-NYJ Mike Nugent
DST-SD Chargers

REVENGE

They just can't leave well enough alone. The greatest man in bicycle racing retires and the French want to piss him off. This once again shows how dumb they can be. Finally someone from France or even that, another county, could have a chance to win the tour. So what do they do? Attack him! Put a black spot on his legacy! How dare they? Now he might come out of retirement to get his eighth Tour in a row and REVENGE. You all know me, I like the number 8.

Excuses, Excuses

Crayola introduces a new crayon!!!