Sunday, July 31, 2005
Coffee Machine
1. CLICK ON THE LINK - COFFEE MACHINE
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (this one is very important, don't forget!)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (this one is very important, don't forget!)
Sheer Lingerie
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.
He is shown several items that range from $250 to $500. The more sheer, the more expensive. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, " I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
Her husband says, "Goodness ! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is Friday.
He is shown several items that range from $250 to $500. The more sheer, the more expensive. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, " I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
Her husband says, "Goodness ! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is Friday.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Operation Redneck
The Pentagon announced today the formation
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit named the
U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These men from Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas,
Alabama, Georgia, and Texas will be dropped into
Iraq and will be given only the following info about
the Terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, dogs, pickup trucks, old
country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the
death of Dale Earnhardt.
The war in Iraq should be over IN ABOUT A WEEK.
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit named the
U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These men from Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas,
Alabama, Georgia, and Texas will be dropped into
Iraq and will be given only the following info about
the Terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, dogs, pickup trucks, old
country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the
death of Dale Earnhardt.
The war in Iraq should be over IN ABOUT A WEEK.
Whats up?
I haven't posted for a while. I just haven't been up to typing. I have been spending more hours at work, so coming home and typing just doesn't sound like fun.
I have been exploring a few other avenues of entertainment.
I took my kids out to Blockbuster the other day and bought Nascar Thunder 2003. Yes, 2003. I know it is used, but it was only ten bucks. I can get my Nascar fix any time I want now. I haven't started a season yet. I am still having problems with a few tracks.
I didn't do my usual Nascar post. Why? Did you watch the race? Junior got put down two laps and never recovered from it. The first lap down was because he got passed because he was in the pits. The other was from the penalty for leaving pit road at 143 MPH from the same pit stop. He needs to keep his cool. One lap down can be recovered from because of the "Lucky Dog". Don't get me started on that. The way I look at that rule is to take advantage of it. If Nascar sets the rules, then everyone is racing by them. He is now 110 point out of 10th with 6 races left until the Chase. He still has a chance to make it. He cannot have any more mistakes along the way. May be this week off will do him some good. A win at Indy would be a nice step in the right direction.
We finally have a story that the MSM cannot mess up. Nasa is back in space as we all know. I really don't think they could put a liberal spin on it. Any way, here is a like to a page on Nasa.gov. You are able to watch the shuttle live.
I have been exploring a few other avenues of entertainment.
I took my kids out to Blockbuster the other day and bought Nascar Thunder 2003. Yes, 2003. I know it is used, but it was only ten bucks. I can get my Nascar fix any time I want now. I haven't started a season yet. I am still having problems with a few tracks.
I didn't do my usual Nascar post. Why? Did you watch the race? Junior got put down two laps and never recovered from it. The first lap down was because he got passed because he was in the pits. The other was from the penalty for leaving pit road at 143 MPH from the same pit stop. He needs to keep his cool. One lap down can be recovered from because of the "Lucky Dog". Don't get me started on that. The way I look at that rule is to take advantage of it. If Nascar sets the rules, then everyone is racing by them. He is now 110 point out of 10th with 6 races left until the Chase. He still has a chance to make it. He cannot have any more mistakes along the way. May be this week off will do him some good. A win at Indy would be a nice step in the right direction.
We finally have a story that the MSM cannot mess up. Nasa is back in space as we all know. I really don't think they could put a liberal spin on it. Any way, here is a like to a page on Nasa.gov. You are able to watch the shuttle live.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Smoke has "Spidey Sense" to get to the front
Tony Stewart has three wins in the last four races. He is on top of his game right now. Could he be doing too much too early? We are still seven races away from the Chase. Can he really keep this run for 17 more races to win the championship? Time will only tell. He is one hell of a driver. He can drive the wheels of anything. All you have to do is tell him it is race and he will give it his all. From the looks of it lately, he has been winning the races to the donut table as well. If he keeps winning races and making those climbs to the flag stand and giving back to the fans, he may just loose that little extra.
"Trust me, I'll be glad to be panting like a dog when I get up there," he said. "It's something they like and I'll keep doing it for them."
"Yes, I'm still too old and too fat to be doing that stuff," the 34-year-old driver said. "I'm probably going to fall and bust my butt before its over. I'm glad they let me go through the gate instead of climbing back down."
Bobby Labonte has had a hard luck season. Seated 23, -818 points, he is looking to next year. There has been a lot of speculation about him driving for Gibbs in 2006.
"It's one of those deals that any time you don't run well in this sport, you're going to be in the rumor mill -- that's just part of life, you know?" Gibbs said. "It's the same in the NFL, if you're not performing well.
"Here, you get a report card every week of where you rank-up; from first to 43rd, so you kind of can see that. What people don't see is the team and the teamwork behind it and all the work that goes into it."
"Like I said before on Friday, it's amazing how great the media is for you 90 percent of the time," Labonte said. "That 10 percent that I had on Friday disrupts the race team pretty bad."
"I've got strong ties at Joe Gibbs Racing so I'm not worried about that -- I just want to run good. There is no truth to the rumor (that Labonte is leaving)."
I really don't see Joe Gibbs getting rid of a previous champion. Joe is a football guy and knows that you have bad seasons. Not everybody or every team be at the top of the standings every year. Every week you go out and give a 100% and try for a win or settle for a great finish. Bobby finished third this week, even though he had electrical problems late in the race. He had to turn off all of the fans to allow enough electric to power the engine. This allowed tire pressure to build up. Otherwise it might have been a 1-2 finish for Joe Gibbs Racing.
Also, like in the NFL, you make a few changes in the off season and prepare for the next season. In Nascar, it could be changes in the shop and the pit crew. I am waiting for the day when we start seeing some sort of "Free Agency" when it comes to the guys in the pits. It is a physical and dangerous job to go over the wall. With pit times needing to be faster, the pit crew members are needing to train and be in great condition.
It looks as if we will only have ten drivers in the Chase, as the 400 point cut off is now in the Top 10. Dale Jarrett is in 10th at 418 back. This is now the covetted spot, which creates a new "Chase".
Matt Kenseth is in 16th, 150 points behind Jarrett. This late in the season, that
is pushing it. I really don't think he has a chance of making it. Jamie McMurray
will probably make sure of it next week. He never did his retaliation. "I just kind of got dumped," McMurray said. "It was pretty deliberate."
Jeff Gordon is in 15th at 120 back of the 88. He is hanging on hope at this
point. He would be a lot closer if his brakes didn't fail towards the end
yesterday.
Kevin Harvick in 14th, -105, needs to put some Top 10s. If he can start doing that on a regular basis again, he will be in the Chase.
Dale Earnhardt Jr is 13th at 59 points back of Jarrett. It could become the new "Dale -n- Dale Show". With a 3rd, 1st, and 9th place finish in the last three weeks, there has been a new breath of life for this team. It looks as if Nascar will get its "Most Favorite Driver" in the Chase.
Carl Edwards sitting 12th at 54 points out is nothing to look past. Even though I don't like him for he is a Roush driver, he is a strong contender to make it.
Jamie McMurray got the shaft this past week by Kenseth. McMurray lost three positions this week, falling out of the Top 10. His is 21 points out. As long as Jamie doesn't get into a car war with the 17, this past week will only be a minor set back. Don't look past the fact that he is only 114 points out of 5th. From Kurt Busch on back it is packed full of drivers.
Nothing is set in stone as of yet.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Winning is the best Medicine
With the news of Michael Waltrip leaving DEI at the end of the season, Truex did what he knows best, WIN. He held Carl Edwards off on a Green-White-Checkered to get his fifth and series leading win of the season. He has a total of 11 Busch Series wins in his career and building. There is 15 races left in the season and Truex has built a commanding lead of 142 points over Clint Bowyer. Even though Carl Edwards missed a race at Nashville Superspeedway, Martin has enough points over Carl to cover one race. Carl is 220 points out. Yes, he would be more of a contender for the Championship, but that is the price you pay for being a dumbass, trying to do two full seasons at once, and not to mention, driving for Roush Racing.
Michael Waltrip moving on is a big blow to DEI. I didn't see this coming. If you read the article linked above, you can see that it all came down to Mikey wanting Tony Eury Jr. as his crew chief. With that looking to be the sticking point, it hints that Tony will be in charge of Dale Jr's pit crew again.
In an earlier post, I predicted that Mikey would easily renew his contract. I like my crow medium-rare. I looked over the fields in both Nextel and Busch. I really don't see any canidates for the 15-car. In the next few weeks, I am sure there will be names in the rumor mill. Once I see something credible, I will be blogging one way or the other.
I would like to say that I have enjoyed the seasons with Mikey behind the wheel. Good luck in the rest of your career.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Job Application (from insanepictures.com)
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Dale Earnhardt Jr get first win of season at Chicagoland
This is exactly what this team needed, a win. To find the winners circle is a big step in the right direction. Dale Jr chased down his first victory of 2005.
The last of 10 caution flags waved on Lap 249, when Mike Bliss and Jeff Gordon crashed, giving all the leaders a last chance to pit on a day when right-side tires were blistering and causing numerous blowouts and crashes.
Scott Wimmer stayed on the track and took the lead, while Earnhardt and several other drivers took only two tires and moved ahead of both Kenseth and Tony Stewart, who took four tires after coming into the pits first and second. (They came out 9th and 10th.)
The green flag came out on Lap 255, and it took Earnhardt three laps to get past Wimmer, who then faded quickly. (Wimmer gambled and finished 17th.)Meanwhile, Kenseth charged toward the front, grabbing second place from Brian Vickers on Lap 261.
But Kenseth couldn't catch Earnhardt, finishing about five car-lengths back.
I do admit, Matt Kenseth had the dominate car. For the longest time, him and Tony Stewart drove away from the field. Yes, that Tony that wrecked in practice and had to start from last because JJ Yeley qualified his car. He can drive the wheels of anything. The short pit strategy late in the race was key for Jr. I told my wife this morning that he was going to pull off something like that for a win. With last week's top five finish and this week's win, this team is starting to standup again. Hopefully eight more weeks of it to be eligible for the playoffs.
Congrats Junior!!!
Now only the Top 10 reside with the invitations for the Chase. Dale Jarrett is only nine points out at 409. Carl Edwards -475, Dale Jr -491, Kevin Harvick -496, and Jeff Gordon -502 still have a eight weeks to get under the 400 point cutt off.
Wednesday, July 6, 2005
Monday, July 4, 2005
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Nascar Update
Tony Stewart dominates Daytona
What more is there to say? Tony Stewart just crushed the competition at Daytona. He led 151 of 160 laps. This is two wins in a row for Smoke. He is showing now, that he is ready for the Chase to begin. He may even enter the Chase in the points lead. He is only 136 pts out of first. Hopefully he keeps some of this bottled up until then. He will be attempting to go after his second championship this year. If they keep building cars like that, Tony will be able to drive off with a passenger.
As for Junior, he finished in 3rd. This is keeps his season on life support as he is now 506 points out. He needs to make up 106 to qualify for the post season. May be this is the "push" in the right direction. I think now that everything has been put out in the open, the emotional baggage, and the in-team rivalry put aside, both Michael Waltrip's and Dale Jr's seasons are going to make dramatic turns. Look for them both to make the Chase.
There is now 13 drivers eligible for the Chase, which is in nine weeks. If you watch any of NBC last night, that was pounded into your head. Who will finally make the cut? There are some serious contenders in there. Rusty Wallace is 205 points back in 5th. He could make his final year, his best year. If Mark Martin (8th, -310) stays out of the kind of trouble that he got into last night, he could do the same. Kurt Busch (9th, -348) knows how to use the points racing to his advantage. That is how he got last year's championship.
There is no one age group dominating the points this year. It is spread out amongst the field. This could be a very interesting year, if there is more than ten in the Chase. There would be a lot of mid week hype in the news medial. The stories would be endless, just what Nascar is looking for during NFL season. I have to say, what keeps me motivated about Junior's chances is that Nascar commercial about Jeremy Mayfield (11th, -349) making it into the Chase on the last lap of the 26th race. Keep diggin' JR.
The two droppers of the week were Mark Martin and Carl Edwards (12th, -351). They both lost three positions in the standings due to wrecking out. The biggest jumper was Dale Jarrett of two spots to 10th, -348.
Two of Three Locked Up
After Martin Truex Jr's win Friday night in the Busch Series, he announced a three year contract extension to stay with DEI. The only adjustment is that they will bring his crew, car, sponser and all to the Nextel Cup Series. This is relief to fans, as Truex has been apart of the Silly Season rumor mill.
While I was catching up this great news, I found this. Michael Waltrip doesn't have a contract for next season. I willing to go out on a limb here and say, now that Truex is under contract, DEI can focus on resigning Waltrip. It may take him to qualify for the Chase, but I don't think that DEI would hold their mistake of the car swap fiasco against Mikey. I see the three horse stall of Junior, Truex, and Waltrip next season.
Saturday, July 2, 2005
Pre-Nascar Update
I just want to say for now. After watching two and a half hours of Countdown to Green/NBC Nascar Pre-Race, I would like a dollar for every time I hear Chase for the Cup or any reference there of.
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