An Indiana man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in KY and I worked both sides of the Ohio River."
Tonight I am rooting on the Jets defense. I need them to shut down Vick. I am winning 44-19. As long as he doesn't have a career night, I win. ShadowKahn's game is already final, he lost. Good for me. We are now tied again for the division lead as long as I hold on to this 25 point lead. Once again...(and I can't believe I am saying this)
Week 6 of the NFL season probably marks a lot of fantasy football's mid way point of their regular season. There are many people out there wondering what happened. There are teams that started out hot and have died off. There are also teams that keep going strong. I am doing good now at 4-2. Yes, I won this past week, 51-47. I got lucky that TE Dallas Clark didn't catch any of those touchdowns Monday night. My team is keeping pace with ShadowKahn, 5-1. He is a 2 pt favorite over Lexington Nightmares, 3-3. It could be a tough match up for him. Don't let their record full you. They are in front in their division, but have lost a couple of really close games. My team is also a 2 pt favorite over The Big Cheeses, 3-3 (a really big Packer-fan). We fought over Favre. Our games are pivitol for their division. So you know what in the hell I am talking about...
Divisions A and B are Conference 1 Divisions C and D are Conference 2
Division winners are in the playoff along with two wildcard teams out of each conference.
Division A Kaiser's Krushers 4-2 Eldora Highbanks 2-4 Brigands 2-4
Division B ShadowKahn 5-1 KY Intimidators 4-2 Bengalstorm 2-4
Division C Lexington Nightmares 3-3 The Big Cheeses 3-3 Insane Barbarians 1-5
Division D Guts and Glory 4-2 The Big Kahunas 4-2 LigerCats 2-4
I started getting sick yesterday. I woke up worse today. My head is congested and my nose wont stop running. UGH!!! I had to call off work. There was no way that I could have gotten through work today. I am most likely taking off tomorrow. I don't want to spread what I have. When it drops into your chest, it is like carrying a 60 lbs kid around all day. The back hurts and you have no energy. Good luck to everyone else out there who haven't gotten sick yet. I am just glad that I am getting this out of the way early. My immune system will be up for the rest of the winter. I don't look forward to getting sick until the season starts to change for spring.
FF Update- I am going into this weekend an 8 pt underdog. That don't mean shit. My team usually performs better the weeks that I am an underdog.
Well, this sucks. I lost 44-37, which makes my current record 3-2. LT is a killer when it comes to fantasy football. His two tds was the deciding factor. Next week I will have Moss and Porter back. Hopefully I can go on a run and win my division. It is going to tough now that I am a game back along with ShadowKahn having the tiebreaker. I definitely need to win our next matchup later in the season.
The funniest thing that happened this week was the new Brigands coach getting the team's first win. My former boss probably feels like crap. Of course he is off work this week, I can't give him any shit about his wife getting the win.
I have been wanting to post an update about some fantasy football news. If you read the comments, I had a good post going. When I clicked the post button, it told me that blogspot was down for maintenance. Then my wife's parents came in town and never had time to post. Well, here it goes.
The owner of the Brigands quit the league. After I whooped his ass for his fourth loss of the season, his wife decided to take over the team. Right now she is up, 38-34, going into MNF. Even with a good showing this week, she may still not win with McCardell having to play.
I am up 33-22 going in. Looks like a tough night. I have San Diego's Def against LT and Kaeding. Winner is up on division and conference.
Now, here is a little about how fantasy football works. You get about 8-12 people together to form a league. Each owner drafts a team due to league rules. Schedules are made for head to head matchups. Scoring is based on each players stats. Also depending on the league rules, playoffs are set and a champion is crowned. The following is what we have set in our 12 team league.
Roster Limits Status Min Max Active Players 8 8 Reserve Players 0 10 Injured Players 0 2 Total Players 8 19
Position Min Max Active QB 1 1 Active RB 0 1 Active WR 2 3 Active TE 1 2 Active K 1 1 Active DST 1 1
Illegal rosters score zero points in standings.
Scoring for Offensive Categories
FG - Field Goals 3 points Plus 1 point for a FG of 45+ Yds XP - Extra Points 1 point MFG - Missed Field Goal -1 point MXP - Missed Extra Point -1 point FL - Fumble Lost, Including ST plays -1 point PaInt - Passing Interception -1 point Pa2P - Passing Two-point Conversion 1 point PaTD - Passing TD 3 points PaYd - Passing Yards 0 - 240 PaYds = 1 point for every 30 PaYds 241+ PaYds = 1 point for every 20 PaYds Re2P - Receiving Two-point Conversion 1 point ReTD - Receiving TD 3 points ReYd - Receiving Yards 0 - 80 ReYds = 1 point for every 20 ReYds 81+ ReYds = 1 point for every 15 ReYds Ru2P - Rushing Two-point Conversion 2 points RuTD - Rushing TD 6 points RuYd - Rushing Yards 0 - 80 RuYds = 1 point for every 20 RuYds 81+ RuYds = 1 point for every 15 RuYds
Scoring for Defensive Categories
BFB - Blocked Field Goals (ID/ST/DST) 1 point BP - Blocked Punts (ID/ST/DST) 1 point DFR - Defensive/ST Fumble Recovered (ID/DT/DST) 1 point Int - Interceptions 1 point DTD - Total Defensive and Special Teams TD 6 points
PA - Points Against, Total Points Scored 0 - 0 PAs = 10 points 1 - 5 PA = 8 points 6 - 10 PA = 6 points 11 - 15 PA = 4 points 16 - 20 PA = 2 points 21 - 24 PA = 0 points 25 - 27 PA = -1 point 28 - 30 PA = -2 points 31 - 33 PA = -3 points 34 - 36 PA = -4 points 37 - 39 PA = -5 points 40 - 42 PA = -6 points 43 - 45 PA = -7 points 46 - 48 PA = -8 points 49 - 51 PA = -9 points 52 - 54 PA = -10 points 55 - 57 PA = -11 points 58 - 60 PA = -12 points 61 - 100 PA = -13 points