Thursday, October 27, 2005
The Baseball Game
So, you take your young son to his first ball game.
Good father and son stuff... right??
Super Male bonding, right??
You buy him a coke... pop corn... a ballcap and three hot dogs.
Then, "whack"...He see's his first homer . .
Will he remember this wonderful day spent with you??
Will he remember the special unique taste of the ball park hot dogs??
Will he often think of that tremendous boomer home run ??
NAHHHHHHHH ~~~~~~~~
What will he remember ??
Good father and son stuff... right??
Super Male bonding, right??
You buy him a coke... pop corn... a ballcap and three hot dogs.
Then, "whack"...He see's his first homer . .
Will he remember this wonderful day spent with you??
Will he remember the special unique taste of the ball park hot dogs??
Will he often think of that tremendous boomer home run ??
NAHHHHHHHH ~~~~~~~~
What will he remember ??
Both Sides
An Indiana man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in KY and I worked both sides of the Ohio River."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in KY and I worked both sides of the Ohio River."
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
KYI 5-2
Way to go Jets, you kept Vick contained. He only scored 12 points. KYI 43 TBC 31.
(somehow lost a point on my defense after scoring correction) After week 7, the standings look like this.
Div A
Kaisers Krushers 4-3
Brigands 3-4
Eldora Highbanks 2-5
Div B
ShadowKahn 5-2
KYI 5-2
Bengalstorm 2-5
Div C
Lex Nightmares 4-3
The Big Cheeses 3-4
Insane Barbarians 2-5
Div D
Guts and Glory 5-2
The Big Kahunas 5-2
Ligercats 2-5
(somehow lost a point on my defense after scoring correction) After week 7, the standings look like this.
Div A
Kaisers Krushers 4-3
Brigands 3-4
Eldora Highbanks 2-5
Div B
ShadowKahn 5-2
KYI 5-2
Bengalstorm 2-5
Div C
Lex Nightmares 4-3
The Big Cheeses 3-4
Insane Barbarians 2-5
Div D
Guts and Glory 5-2
The Big Kahunas 5-2
Ligercats 2-5
Monday, October 24, 2005
J E T S JETS JETS JETS
Tonight I am rooting on the Jets defense. I need them to shut down Vick. I am winning 44-19. As long as he doesn't have a career night, I win. ShadowKahn's game is already final, he lost. Good for me. We are now tied again for the division lead as long as I hold on to this 25 point lead. Once again...(and I can't believe I am saying this)
J E T S
JETS JETS JETS
J E T S
JETS JETS JETS
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Going into Sunday
After Friday night's game, the score of my game is still 0-0. He had the Miami kicker +8 and defense-8. I am looking forward to today's games.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
KY Girl
A girl from Kentucky and a girl from the west coast were seated
side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Kentucky, being friendly and all, said,
"So, where y'all from?"
The West coast girl said, "From a place where they know better
than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Kentucky sat quietly for a few momen ts and then
replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Kentucky, being friendly and all, said,
"So, where y'all from?"
The West coast girl said, "From a place where they know better
than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Kentucky sat quietly for a few momen ts and then
replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Half way mark
Week 6 of the NFL season probably marks a lot of fantasy football's mid way point of their regular season. There are many people out there wondering what happened. There are teams that started out hot and have died off. There are also teams that keep going strong. I am doing good now at 4-2. Yes, I won this past week, 51-47. I got lucky that TE Dallas Clark didn't catch any of those touchdowns Monday night. My team is keeping pace with ShadowKahn, 5-1. He is a 2 pt favorite over Lexington Nightmares, 3-3. It could be a tough match up for him. Don't let their record full you. They are in front in their division, but have lost a couple of really close games. My team is also a 2 pt favorite over The Big Cheeses, 3-3 (a really big Packer-fan). We fought over Favre. Our games are pivitol for their division. So you know what in the hell I am talking about...
Divisions A and B are Conference 1
Divisions C and D are Conference 2
Division winners are in the playoff along with two wildcard teams out of each conference.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers 4-2
Eldora Highbanks 2-4
Brigands 2-4
Division B
ShadowKahn 5-1
KY Intimidators 4-2
Bengalstorm 2-4
Division C
Lexington Nightmares 3-3
The Big Cheeses 3-3
Insane Barbarians 1-5
Division D
Guts and Glory 4-2
The Big Kahunas 4-2
LigerCats 2-4
Only six more weeks to go, then PLAYOFFS!!!
Divisions A and B are Conference 1
Divisions C and D are Conference 2
Division winners are in the playoff along with two wildcard teams out of each conference.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers 4-2
Eldora Highbanks 2-4
Brigands 2-4
Division B
ShadowKahn 5-1
KY Intimidators 4-2
Bengalstorm 2-4
Division C
Lexington Nightmares 3-3
The Big Cheeses 3-3
Insane Barbarians 1-5
Division D
Guts and Glory 4-2
The Big Kahunas 4-2
LigerCats 2-4
Only six more weeks to go, then PLAYOFFS!!!
Friday, October 14, 2005
I hate being sick
I started getting sick yesterday. I woke up worse today. My head is congested and my nose wont stop running. UGH!!! I had to call off work. There was no way that I could have gotten through work today. I am most likely taking off tomorrow. I don't want to spread what I have. When it drops into your chest, it is like carrying a 60 lbs kid around all day. The back hurts and you have no energy. Good luck to everyone else out there who haven't gotten sick yet. I am just glad that I am getting this out of the way early. My immune system will be up for the rest of the winter. I don't look forward to getting sick until the season starts to change for spring.
FF Update- I am going into this weekend an 8 pt underdog. That don't mean shit. My team usually performs better the weeks that I am an underdog.
FF Update- I am going into this weekend an 8 pt underdog. That don't mean shit. My team usually performs better the weeks that I am an underdog.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
KYI Update
Well, this sucks. I lost 44-37, which makes my current record 3-2. LT is a killer when it comes to fantasy football. His two tds was the deciding factor. Next week I will have Moss and Porter back. Hopefully I can go on a run and win my division. It is going to tough now that I am a game back along with ShadowKahn having the tiebreaker. I definitely need to win our next matchup later in the season.
The funniest thing that happened this week was the new Brigands coach getting the team's first win. My former boss probably feels like crap. Of course he is off work this week, I can't give him any shit about his wife getting the win.
The funniest thing that happened this week was the new Brigands coach getting the team's first win. My former boss probably feels like crap. Of course he is off work this week, I can't give him any shit about his wife getting the win.
Monday, October 10, 2005
A long awaited post
I have been wanting to post an update about some fantasy football news. If you read the comments, I had a good post going. When I clicked the post button, it told me that blogspot was down for maintenance. Then my wife's parents came in town and never had time to post. Well, here it goes.
The owner of the Brigands quit the league. After I whooped his ass for his fourth loss of the season, his wife decided to take over the team. Right now she is up, 38-34, going into MNF. Even with a good showing this week, she may still not win with McCardell having to play.
I am up 33-22 going in. Looks like a tough night. I have San Diego's Def against LT and Kaeding. Winner is up on division and conference.
Now, here is a little about how fantasy football works. You get about 8-12 people together to form a league. Each owner drafts a team due to league rules. Schedules are made for head to head matchups. Scoring is based on each players stats. Also depending on the league rules, playoffs are set and a champion is crowned. The following is what we have set in our 12 team league.
Roster Limits
Status Min Max
Active Players 8 8
Reserve Players 0 10
Injured Players 0 2
Total Players 8 19
Position Min Max
Active QB 1 1
Active RB 0 1
Active WR 2 3
Active TE 1 2
Active K 1 1
Active DST 1 1
Illegal rosters score zero points in standings.
Scoring for Offensive Categories
FG - Field Goals 3 points
Plus 1 point for a FG of 45+ Yds
XP - Extra Points 1 point
MFG - Missed Field Goal -1 point
MXP - Missed Extra Point -1 point
FL - Fumble Lost, Including ST plays -1 point
PaInt - Passing Interception -1 point
Pa2P - Passing Two-point Conversion 1 point
PaTD - Passing TD 3 points
PaYd - Passing Yards 0 - 240 PaYds = 1 point for every 30 PaYds
241+ PaYds = 1 point for every 20 PaYds
Re2P - Receiving Two-point Conversion 1 point
ReTD - Receiving TD 3 points
ReYd - Receiving Yards 0 - 80 ReYds = 1 point for every 20 ReYds
81+ ReYds = 1 point for every 15 ReYds
Ru2P - Rushing Two-point Conversion 2 points
RuTD - Rushing TD 6 points
RuYd - Rushing Yards 0 - 80 RuYds = 1 point for every 20 RuYds
81+ RuYds = 1 point for every 15 RuYds
Scoring for Defensive Categories
BFB - Blocked Field Goals (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
BP - Blocked Punts (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
DFR - Defensive/ST Fumble Recovered (ID/DT/DST) 1 point
Int - Interceptions 1 point
DTD - Total Defensive and Special Teams TD 6 points
PA - Points Against, Total Points Scored
0 - 0 PAs = 10 points
1 - 5 PA = 8 points
6 - 10 PA = 6 points
11 - 15 PA = 4 points
16 - 20 PA = 2 points
21 - 24 PA = 0 points
25 - 27 PA = -1 point
28 - 30 PA = -2 points
31 - 33 PA = -3 points
34 - 36 PA = -4 points
37 - 39 PA = -5 points
40 - 42 PA = -6 points
43 - 45 PA = -7 points
46 - 48 PA = -8 points
49 - 51 PA = -9 points
52 - 54 PA = -10 points
55 - 57 PA = -11 points
58 - 60 PA = -12 points
61 - 100 PA = -13 points
SACK - Sack 1 point
STY - Safety 2 points
YDS - Yards Allowed
0 - 19 YDSs = 16 points
20 - 59 YDSs = 14 points
60 - 99 YDSs = 12 points
100 - 139 YDSs = 10 points
140 - 179 YDSs = 8 points
180 - 219 YDSs = 6 points
220 - 259 YDSs = 4 points
260 - 299 YDSs = 2 points
300 - 339 YDSs = 0 points
340 - 379 YDSs = -2 points
380 - 419 YDSs = -4 points
420 - 459 YDSs = -6 points
460 - 499 YDSs = -8 points
500 - 539 YDSs = -10 points
540 - 579 YDSs = -12 points
580 - 619 YDSs = -14 points
620+ YDSs = -16 points
Playoffs
1st round (week 13) - 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, 3 vs. 6 & 4 vs. 5.
2nd round (week 14) - Winner of 1 vs. 8 VS 4 vs. 5 & Winner of 2 vs. 7 VS. 3 vs. 6
4th round (week 15) - Superbowl
The owner of the Brigands quit the league. After I whooped his ass for his fourth loss of the season, his wife decided to take over the team. Right now she is up, 38-34, going into MNF. Even with a good showing this week, she may still not win with McCardell having to play.
I am up 33-22 going in. Looks like a tough night. I have San Diego's Def against LT and Kaeding. Winner is up on division and conference.
Now, here is a little about how fantasy football works. You get about 8-12 people together to form a league. Each owner drafts a team due to league rules. Schedules are made for head to head matchups. Scoring is based on each players stats. Also depending on the league rules, playoffs are set and a champion is crowned. The following is what we have set in our 12 team league.
Roster Limits
Status Min Max
Active Players 8 8
Reserve Players 0 10
Injured Players 0 2
Total Players 8 19
Position Min Max
Active QB 1 1
Active RB 0 1
Active WR 2 3
Active TE 1 2
Active K 1 1
Active DST 1 1
Illegal rosters score zero points in standings.
Scoring for Offensive Categories
FG - Field Goals 3 points
Plus 1 point for a FG of 45+ Yds
XP - Extra Points 1 point
MFG - Missed Field Goal -1 point
MXP - Missed Extra Point -1 point
FL - Fumble Lost, Including ST plays -1 point
PaInt - Passing Interception -1 point
Pa2P - Passing Two-point Conversion 1 point
PaTD - Passing TD 3 points
PaYd - Passing Yards 0 - 240 PaYds = 1 point for every 30 PaYds
241+ PaYds = 1 point for every 20 PaYds
Re2P - Receiving Two-point Conversion 1 point
ReTD - Receiving TD 3 points
ReYd - Receiving Yards 0 - 80 ReYds = 1 point for every 20 ReYds
81+ ReYds = 1 point for every 15 ReYds
Ru2P - Rushing Two-point Conversion 2 points
RuTD - Rushing TD 6 points
RuYd - Rushing Yards 0 - 80 RuYds = 1 point for every 20 RuYds
81+ RuYds = 1 point for every 15 RuYds
Scoring for Defensive Categories
BFB - Blocked Field Goals (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
BP - Blocked Punts (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
DFR - Defensive/ST Fumble Recovered (ID/DT/DST) 1 point
Int - Interceptions 1 point
DTD - Total Defensive and Special Teams TD 6 points
PA - Points Against, Total Points Scored
0 - 0 PAs = 10 points
1 - 5 PA = 8 points
6 - 10 PA = 6 points
11 - 15 PA = 4 points
16 - 20 PA = 2 points
21 - 24 PA = 0 points
25 - 27 PA = -1 point
28 - 30 PA = -2 points
31 - 33 PA = -3 points
34 - 36 PA = -4 points
37 - 39 PA = -5 points
40 - 42 PA = -6 points
43 - 45 PA = -7 points
46 - 48 PA = -8 points
49 - 51 PA = -9 points
52 - 54 PA = -10 points
55 - 57 PA = -11 points
58 - 60 PA = -12 points
61 - 100 PA = -13 points
SACK - Sack 1 point
STY - Safety 2 points
YDS - Yards Allowed
0 - 19 YDSs = 16 points
20 - 59 YDSs = 14 points
60 - 99 YDSs = 12 points
100 - 139 YDSs = 10 points
140 - 179 YDSs = 8 points
180 - 219 YDSs = 6 points
220 - 259 YDSs = 4 points
260 - 299 YDSs = 2 points
300 - 339 YDSs = 0 points
340 - 379 YDSs = -2 points
380 - 419 YDSs = -4 points
420 - 459 YDSs = -6 points
460 - 499 YDSs = -8 points
500 - 539 YDSs = -10 points
540 - 579 YDSs = -12 points
580 - 619 YDSs = -14 points
620+ YDSs = -16 points
Playoffs
1st round (week 13) - 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, 3 vs. 6 & 4 vs. 5.
2nd round (week 14) - Winner of 1 vs. 8 VS 4 vs. 5 & Winner of 2 vs. 7 VS. 3 vs. 6
4th round (week 15) - Superbowl
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