I have to say the big upside to this past year was finally being able to buy a house. 2006 should be better now that my van is paid off. Did that last week before Christmas. That was my Christmas present to myself and my wife. So to all that have dropped by to my blog over the past year, I hope you have a safe and healthy New Year.
Happy New Year!!!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Friday, December 30, 2005
This video is funny
This is a very funny video I saw on Ifilm. It tells what the Internet is really for.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Chris Henry charged with STUPIDITY
Well, it looks as if Bengals WR Chris Henry is on Coach Lewis's shit list. What a stupid thing to do!? He was pulled over on Philadelphia in Covington, KY (which is about 5 minutes from down town). He was pulled over for speeding. This area is residential. Bogus charge. Just looking for a reason to pull him over. He was also charged with expired tags, expired driver's license, and no proof of insurance. The tags were enough to pull him over anyway. I got busted a few years back for mine being 3 months past due. The cop let me go, because I was on my way to work. He could have had me towed, but let me go, because I was going to take care of it after work. I work 3rd at the time.
When the police approached the car, the smelled mary jay. There were stems in the ash tray. When the searched him, he had two bags in his shoe. This all totals up to STUPIDITY. You are on one of the best teams in the league, if not THE BEST. Doing things like this is just plain dumb. Don't do stuff like this during the season. We don't need to be reminded of the Bungals. That was a team that would do stupid things to destroy the team. Get your head on straight and cleaned up. I hope Marvin benches your ass this week. Kelly Washington can fill in this week. Another thing, you have MONEY. I am sure you could have that stuff delivered. Duh, you can't afford that chance of getting busted. Oops, too late for that one. DEE DEE DEE!!!
You could have a great career here in Cincinnati. We just don't need that in the team chemistry. Look at Darrell Russell. He chose the drug route and that ended in a deadly crash. I don't think you want that ending. You are here for a ring. You can help make that happen. Just drop the pipe and catch the ball. Marvin said Jump Higher, not Get Higher.
When the police approached the car, the smelled mary jay. There were stems in the ash tray. When the searched him, he had two bags in his shoe. This all totals up to STUPIDITY. You are on one of the best teams in the league, if not THE BEST. Doing things like this is just plain dumb. Don't do stuff like this during the season. We don't need to be reminded of the Bungals. That was a team that would do stupid things to destroy the team. Get your head on straight and cleaned up. I hope Marvin benches your ass this week. Kelly Washington can fill in this week. Another thing, you have MONEY. I am sure you could have that stuff delivered. Duh, you can't afford that chance of getting busted. Oops, too late for that one. DEE DEE DEE!!!
You could have a great career here in Cincinnati. We just don't need that in the team chemistry. Look at Darrell Russell. He chose the drug route and that ended in a deadly crash. I don't think you want that ending. You are here for a ring. You can help make that happen. Just drop the pipe and catch the ball. Marvin said Jump Higher, not Get Higher.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Waiting for next season
My team just didn't perform this week. I lost 81-36. The Krushers always have a big week when I play him. I will need to build a team around Chad Johnson next year to try to beat him. That will be the only player I keep off this team. We are only allowed one. He is the best I've got. The championship is Krushers vs Guts.
Wednesday, December 7, 2005
Still Healing
The Friday after Thanksgiving, I got off early from work. I got home early enough for lunch, so I decided to take the family out to Wendy's.
When we were leaving, I opened the passenger door on the van. Then I turned to open the sliding door for the kids to get in. All of a sudden, BAM!!! The passenger door slammed shut on my middle finger. This was all happened while my wife was getting in on the driver's side. She reached over and tried to open the door. As she did, I pulled. Guess what? I was still stuck, because the door had locked when it closed. She then unlocked the door and then opened the door. I started jumping up and down and screaming my head off. F**k did it hurt.
The way the tip of my finger swelled up, I thought it was broke. The hospital was just up the road, so Mrs. B took me to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. While checking my vitals, I realized I needed my tetnis shot (only 3 yrs late). Three x-rays showed every was intact. I got my shot. It wasn't too bad. The needles have gotten smaller in 13 years. The nurse put a protective plastic splint on my finger to try to prevent me from banging it into things.
The next day, all under the nail was bruised. A couple of days later, the bruising was disappearing, but there was tremendous pressure. I had to take a pair of scissors and scrap a hole through my nail. No nerves in bone, so it didn't hurt. I felt it when I got through though. After that, I put a needle in the little hole to ream it out to make it bigger. This allowed the fluid build up in the damaged area to start draining. The next day, it also started draining from back by the cuticle. Everyonce in a while when the pressure starting building again, all I had to do was press down on the nail and more fluid would flow. Believe me, it felt so much better after that.
This past Monday, I was able to get the nail off. This has really allowed some further healing and less swelling. It is almost back to normal size. Now I have to wait to see if a new nail will grow back. I hope so. I don't want to tell that story the rest of my life. If it does grow back, it will probably grow in gimped for a while. It will take some time to reshape. Below is what it looked like the first day and now. I didn't get any pictures of it in between. Sorry, I was trying to keep it clean so it wouldn't get infected.
If this is the kind of stuff that happens when you leave work early, let me work overtime.
When we were leaving, I opened the passenger door on the van. Then I turned to open the sliding door for the kids to get in. All of a sudden, BAM!!! The passenger door slammed shut on my middle finger. This was all happened while my wife was getting in on the driver's side. She reached over and tried to open the door. As she did, I pulled. Guess what? I was still stuck, because the door had locked when it closed. She then unlocked the door and then opened the door. I started jumping up and down and screaming my head off. F**k did it hurt.
The way the tip of my finger swelled up, I thought it was broke. The hospital was just up the road, so Mrs. B took me to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. While checking my vitals, I realized I needed my tetnis shot (only 3 yrs late). Three x-rays showed every was intact. I got my shot. It wasn't too bad. The needles have gotten smaller in 13 years. The nurse put a protective plastic splint on my finger to try to prevent me from banging it into things.
The next day, all under the nail was bruised. A couple of days later, the bruising was disappearing, but there was tremendous pressure. I had to take a pair of scissors and scrap a hole through my nail. No nerves in bone, so it didn't hurt. I felt it when I got through though. After that, I put a needle in the little hole to ream it out to make it bigger. This allowed the fluid build up in the damaged area to start draining. The next day, it also started draining from back by the cuticle. Everyonce in a while when the pressure starting building again, all I had to do was press down on the nail and more fluid would flow. Believe me, it felt so much better after that.
This past Monday, I was able to get the nail off. This has really allowed some further healing and less swelling. It is almost back to normal size. Now I have to wait to see if a new nail will grow back. I hope so. I don't want to tell that story the rest of my life. If it does grow back, it will probably grow in gimped for a while. It will take some time to reshape. Below is what it looked like the first day and now. I didn't get any pictures of it in between. Sorry, I was trying to keep it clean so it wouldn't get infected.
If this is the kind of stuff that happens when you leave work early, let me work overtime.
Calvin
Monday, December 5, 2005
The Playoffs
I finally made it to the playoffs in my third year of fantasy football (actually playing for money). My team was matched up against a division rival, who I lost to twice during the regular season.
After the second set of games, I was up 27-7. Thank you Miami for hammering away at the Bills Defense on a route to a come back win. The Bills ended up only scoring one point even with their bonuses.
My main concern with the Sunday night game was that ShadowKahn still had LT to play. He racked up 29 points against me last week. He also owns the SD Kicker Nate Kaeding, to add the extra points to LT's TDs. Another key factor was him having Kerry Collins against my WRs of Moss and Porter. Wide Receivers rack up yardage points faster than Quarterback's passing yardage.
Early in the Oakland/San Diego game, there was a key goalline stop against LT when the score of my game was 29-24. That had to be a key moment in this matchup. I would have been behind worrying, needing Westbrook to have a good night. As long as he doesn't come out and fumble and gets some yardage, my team will win. I am up now 32-31.
Next week, I go up against a conference opponent and good friend, Kaiser's Krushers (won 61-55). Looks like I have my work cut out for me again. I lost to him twice during the regular season.
In the other conference, Guts and Glory cruised to a mighty defeat of 76-42. The Big Kahunas upset the Nightmares 44-14.
After the second set of games, I was up 27-7. Thank you Miami for hammering away at the Bills Defense on a route to a come back win. The Bills ended up only scoring one point even with their bonuses.
My main concern with the Sunday night game was that ShadowKahn still had LT to play. He racked up 29 points against me last week. He also owns the SD Kicker Nate Kaeding, to add the extra points to LT's TDs. Another key factor was him having Kerry Collins against my WRs of Moss and Porter. Wide Receivers rack up yardage points faster than Quarterback's passing yardage.
Early in the Oakland/San Diego game, there was a key goalline stop against LT when the score of my game was 29-24. That had to be a key moment in this matchup. I would have been behind worrying, needing Westbrook to have a good night. As long as he doesn't come out and fumble and gets some yardage, my team will win. I am up now 32-31.
Next week, I go up against a conference opponent and good friend, Kaiser's Krushers (won 61-55). Looks like I have my work cut out for me again. I lost to him twice during the regular season.
In the other conference, Guts and Glory cruised to a mighty defeat of 76-42. The Big Kahunas upset the Nightmares 44-14.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
FF Update
Well, to start it off, I lost. I am in as the first wildcard. With Eldora winning their game, it forces rematches of week 12. The division opponents get to play again for a third time. Eldora Highbanks will host Kaiser's Krushers and the Kentucky Intimidators will travel to ShadowKahn. I have lost to him twice. Third time is a charm I hope. I will have to make some decisions on who to start. I have posted my roster in previous posts. If you have any suggestions, let me know. I need to win now. This is loose and go home. In the other conference, The Big Cheeses won their game as they watched the Ligercats choak. All Ligercats had to do was win. He will be back next year with his Seattle loaded team. TBC will be the lucky one to take on Guts and Glory with their Indy loaded team. The Lexington Nightmares will host The Big Kahunas.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Cookie or Kookie?
Desserts
Here are the four desserts that Mrs B made. Pumpkin pie and apple pie (Thanksgiving Traditions), caramel pie (for me!!!), and a coconut cream pie (for my dad).
She cooked and baked here ass off for two days. I have to commend here on a great dinner. I would have posted a picture of the turkey, but it was so tender, that when I was trying to pick it up out of the roasting pan, he fell apart. The legs and wings came off. We couldn't believe it. All we could do is laugh. The only thing that mattered, was that it tasted good going down!
She cooked and baked here ass off for two days. I have to commend here on a great dinner. I would have posted a picture of the turkey, but it was so tender, that when I was trying to pick it up out of the roasting pan, he fell apart. The legs and wings came off. We couldn't believe it. All we could do is laugh. The only thing that mattered, was that it tasted good going down!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Hey ALL
I just wanted to say
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE
no tryptophan overdoses!!!
CIFFL Update: My team is favored by 1
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE
no tryptophan overdoses!!!
CIFFL Update: My team is favored by 1
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Week 12 is HERE!!!
I won my game this week, 79-54. I finally got game of the week.
With week 12 finally here, there is a lot on the line. In most fantasy leagues, most of this stuff was sorted out weeks ago. Here is a post that is going up on the site today.
We are now down to our final week of the regular season. If you look at the standings and the schedule, you have to thank your scheduling gods. Five of the games have some kind of meaning. It is nice to have some pre-playoff games.
In the Counting Conference, both divisions and even the conference title is on the line. In Division A, the Kaiser's Krushers will take on Eldora Highbanks. If the Krushers win, they win their division. They would need ShadowKahn to loose to win the conference. If Eldora wins, would win the division title due to conference tie-breaker.
In Division B, ShadowKahn takes on the KY Intimidators. If ShadowKahn wins, they will take both their division and conference titles because of the head to head matchups over the Krushers even if they win. If the Intimidators win, they would win the division due to the division record tie-breaker. KYI could also win the conference if they win and KK looses.
The Infinity Conference is a little bit different. When the Lexington Nightmares take on Guts and Glory, it will be for very nice payout (50 bucks + Add/Drop fees). They are playing for the Best Season Record and conference title. GG took the first matchup of 80-32. If Lexington wins, they would win the conference title because of a better conference record. WINNER TAKE ALL!!!
It looks as if no one in this conference wants the second wild card. Both the Barbarians and Big Cheeses lost last week. This week they play each other. If the Insane Barbarians win they are in. If The Big Cheeses win, they would need help. They would need the LigerCats to loose to The Big Kahunas. Yes, that's right, the LigerCats still have a chance. If they win, they would own the tie-breaker from the head to head matchups. The have won two of their three games against TBC.
Div A
Kaisers Krushers 7-4
Eldora Highbanks 6-5
Brigands 3-8
Div B
KY Intimidators 7-4
ShadowKahn 7-4
Bengalstorm 3-8
Div C
Lexington Nightmares 8-3
Insane Barbarians 4-7
The Big Cheeses 3-8
Div D
Guts and Glory 9-2
The Big Kahunas 6-5
LigerCats 3-8
With week 12 finally here, there is a lot on the line. In most fantasy leagues, most of this stuff was sorted out weeks ago. Here is a post that is going up on the site today.
We are now down to our final week of the regular season. If you look at the standings and the schedule, you have to thank your scheduling gods. Five of the games have some kind of meaning. It is nice to have some pre-playoff games.
In the Counting Conference, both divisions and even the conference title is on the line. In Division A, the Kaiser's Krushers will take on Eldora Highbanks. If the Krushers win, they win their division. They would need ShadowKahn to loose to win the conference. If Eldora wins, would win the division title due to conference tie-breaker.
In Division B, ShadowKahn takes on the KY Intimidators. If ShadowKahn wins, they will take both their division and conference titles because of the head to head matchups over the Krushers even if they win. If the Intimidators win, they would win the division due to the division record tie-breaker. KYI could also win the conference if they win and KK looses.
The Infinity Conference is a little bit different. When the Lexington Nightmares take on Guts and Glory, it will be for very nice payout (50 bucks + Add/Drop fees). They are playing for the Best Season Record and conference title. GG took the first matchup of 80-32. If Lexington wins, they would win the conference title because of a better conference record. WINNER TAKE ALL!!!
It looks as if no one in this conference wants the second wild card. Both the Barbarians and Big Cheeses lost last week. This week they play each other. If the Insane Barbarians win they are in. If The Big Cheeses win, they would need help. They would need the LigerCats to loose to The Big Kahunas. Yes, that's right, the LigerCats still have a chance. If they win, they would own the tie-breaker from the head to head matchups. The have won two of their three games against TBC.
Div A
Kaisers Krushers 7-4
Eldora Highbanks 6-5
Brigands 3-8
Div B
KY Intimidators 7-4
ShadowKahn 7-4
Bengalstorm 3-8
Div C
Lexington Nightmares 8-3
Insane Barbarians 4-7
The Big Cheeses 3-8
Div D
Guts and Glory 9-2
The Big Kahunas 6-5
LigerCats 3-8
Monday, November 21, 2005
Nascar Championships
For some odd reason, Hello is not uploading pictures. I will try later today. I just wanted to get this out.
Congrats to Martin Truex Jr on back to back Nascar Busch Series Championships.
Congrats to Tony Stewart for his second Nascar Championship. He is the first driver to have both Winston Cup and NEXTEL Cup championships.
Congrats to Martin Truex Jr on back to back Nascar Busch Series Championships.
Congrats to Tony Stewart for his second Nascar Championship. He is the first driver to have both Winston Cup and NEXTEL Cup championships.
Things are setting up...
I will make another post tomorrow on the playoff matchups. I had to get this out early. It looks as if next week in our conference that two games will be winner take all in both of the divisions. Highbanks vs Krushers and Intimidators vs ShadowKahn. It is nice that the schedule has worked out to have some PRE-playoff games.
Tonight I need Favre to score at least 7 points for me to have game of the week. My team has 68 points as of now. I would like to start winning some of my money back before the playoffs. I have come close only a couple of times this season to have GOTW.
Rob from CrabApple put in a comment about only 12 week regular season fantasy football seasons. I asked the same question when I first joined the Counting Infinity Fantasy Football League. The reasonning makes sense. Lets use Peyton Manning for an example. What if the Colts clinch their division and home-field early? Most likely Manning would be benched or playing time reduced to refresh him and save him for the playoffs. If you have him on your team and your league's championship is in week 17, you could possibly loose because the Colts benched him. Not many NFL teams bench stars in week 15. This sets up the 12 week regular season with playoffs 13-15.
Tonight I need Favre to score at least 7 points for me to have game of the week. My team has 68 points as of now. I would like to start winning some of my money back before the playoffs. I have come close only a couple of times this season to have GOTW.
Rob from CrabApple put in a comment about only 12 week regular season fantasy football seasons. I asked the same question when I first joined the Counting Infinity Fantasy Football League. The reasonning makes sense. Lets use Peyton Manning for an example. What if the Colts clinch their division and home-field early? Most likely Manning would be benched or playing time reduced to refresh him and save him for the playoffs. If you have him on your team and your league's championship is in week 17, you could possibly loose because the Colts benched him. Not many NFL teams bench stars in week 15. This sets up the 12 week regular season with playoffs 13-15.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Playoffs in two weeks
Here is a post I put on the fantasy football website. It is about the playoff possibilities. Now that I am in, I want to win it all. Just need to take it one week at a time. Well, here it is. I will post the standings at the end.
The playoffs are in two weeks and you are probably asking yourself,
"What are my chances of making the playoffs?" Here is a look at the
possibilities.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers - next two games against Bengalstorm and Eldora Highbanks
Conference Record 5-3
Already clinched playoff spot. Needs to win both games to claim
division title. KK can afford a loss to Bengalstorm, but would need to
win against Eldora. If win against Bengalstorm and loss to Eldora,
would win division because of division record.
Eldora Highbanks - next two games against ShadowKahn and Kaiser's Krushers
Conference Record 5-3
A win in either game will guarantee a playoff spot. If EH wins their
next two games and KK looses to Bengalstorm, they could steal the
division right out from under KK.
Bengalstorm still has a small chance. Would need to win their final two
games against KK and Brigands, along with Eldora loosing both of their
games. Bengalstorm beat Eldora in week 3, 95-51.
Division B
ShadowKahn - next two games against Eldora Highbanks and Kentucky
Intimidators
Conference Record 6-2
Already clinched playoff spot. Win both games to claim division title.
Can afford loss to Eldora, but would need win against KYI for division.
If they loose both, they would fall to the second wildcard.
Kentucky Intimidators - next two games against Brigands and ShadowKahn
Already clinched playoff spot. Win both games, win division title by
division record tiebreaker.
Division C
Lexington Nightmares - next two games against The Big Kahunas and Guts
and Glory
Clinched Division in Playoffs.
Insane Barbarians - next two games against Guts and Glory and The Big
Cheeses
Win both games and in. Loose one and it could gets crazy.
The Big Cheeses - next two games against Ligercats and Insane Barbarians
The Big Cheeses beat IB 63-35 in week 5. Need to win next two games for
the second wildcard. If loss to Ligercats and IB loose GAG, would need
to beat IB in week 12.
Division D
Guts and Glory - next two games against Insane Barbarians and Lexington
Nightmares
Conference Record 6-2
Win either game claims the division. If loss in both games, would need
the Big Kahunas to loose to Ligercats. If TBK beats the Ligercats,
conference record would come next. They split the season matchup and
would have identical division records. This would cause them to fall to
a wildcard.
The Big Kahunas - next two games against Lexington Nightmares and Ligercats
Conference Record 5-3
Clinched playoff spot. Win in either game clinches first wildcard.
Need to win both and GAG to loose both to claim division.
Tune in next week when the playoff schedule will be a little clearer.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers 6-4
Eldora Highbanks 5-5
Brigands 3-7
Division B
ShadowKahn 7-3
KY Intimidators 6-4
Bengalstorm 3-7
Division C
Lexington Nightmares 7-3
Insane Barbarians 4-6
The Big Cheeses 3-7
Division D
Guts and Glory 8-2
The Big Kahunas 6-4
Ligercats 2-8
Week 11 Matchups
Brigands at KY Intimidators -3
Highbanks -7 at ShadowKahn
Krushers at Bengalstorm -2
Lexington at Big Kahunas -16
Big Cheeses -6 at Ligercats
Barbarians at Guts and Glory -16
The playoffs are in two weeks and you are probably asking yourself,
"What are my chances of making the playoffs?" Here is a look at the
possibilities.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers - next two games against Bengalstorm and Eldora Highbanks
Conference Record 5-3
Already clinched playoff spot. Needs to win both games to claim
division title. KK can afford a loss to Bengalstorm, but would need to
win against Eldora. If win against Bengalstorm and loss to Eldora,
would win division because of division record.
Eldora Highbanks - next two games against ShadowKahn and Kaiser's Krushers
Conference Record 5-3
A win in either game will guarantee a playoff spot. If EH wins their
next two games and KK looses to Bengalstorm, they could steal the
division right out from under KK.
Bengalstorm still has a small chance. Would need to win their final two
games against KK and Brigands, along with Eldora loosing both of their
games. Bengalstorm beat Eldora in week 3, 95-51.
Division B
ShadowKahn - next two games against Eldora Highbanks and Kentucky
Intimidators
Conference Record 6-2
Already clinched playoff spot. Win both games to claim division title.
Can afford loss to Eldora, but would need win against KYI for division.
If they loose both, they would fall to the second wildcard.
Kentucky Intimidators - next two games against Brigands and ShadowKahn
Already clinched playoff spot. Win both games, win division title by
division record tiebreaker.
Division C
Lexington Nightmares - next two games against The Big Kahunas and Guts
and Glory
Clinched Division in Playoffs.
Insane Barbarians - next two games against Guts and Glory and The Big
Cheeses
Win both games and in. Loose one and it could gets crazy.
The Big Cheeses - next two games against Ligercats and Insane Barbarians
The Big Cheeses beat IB 63-35 in week 5. Need to win next two games for
the second wildcard. If loss to Ligercats and IB loose GAG, would need
to beat IB in week 12.
Division D
Guts and Glory - next two games against Insane Barbarians and Lexington
Nightmares
Conference Record 6-2
Win either game claims the division. If loss in both games, would need
the Big Kahunas to loose to Ligercats. If TBK beats the Ligercats,
conference record would come next. They split the season matchup and
would have identical division records. This would cause them to fall to
a wildcard.
The Big Kahunas - next two games against Lexington Nightmares and Ligercats
Conference Record 5-3
Clinched playoff spot. Win in either game clinches first wildcard.
Need to win both and GAG to loose both to claim division.
Tune in next week when the playoff schedule will be a little clearer.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers 6-4
Eldora Highbanks 5-5
Brigands 3-7
Division B
ShadowKahn 7-3
KY Intimidators 6-4
Bengalstorm 3-7
Division C
Lexington Nightmares 7-3
Insane Barbarians 4-6
The Big Cheeses 3-7
Division D
Guts and Glory 8-2
The Big Kahunas 6-4
Ligercats 2-8
Week 11 Matchups
Brigands at KY Intimidators -3
Highbanks -7 at ShadowKahn
Krushers at Bengalstorm -2
Lexington at Big Kahunas -16
Big Cheeses -6 at Ligercats
Barbarians at Guts and Glory -16
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I already used this title
I lost again. This time 67-42. It is hard to come back when the other teams defense put up 29 points. He had Jacksonville defense against Baltimore. At 6-4 I have clinched a playoff spot. I still have a chance for the division title. If I play my cards right, I may even pull off the regular season conference title. I don't want to get ahead of myself. I have been looking over scheduling matchups of weeks 13-15. Some look good, some look iffy. Wish me luck. Looks like I am going to need it.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Needing a Win
This week I am taking on the Kaiser's Krushers. After dropping the Raider's DEF and picking up Green Bay's DEF, my team became a 5 pt underdog. Then Randy Moss was down graded on the injury update in the middle of the week. The new line is minus six. My team usually performs the weeks when I am an underdog, so I am optomistic.
You probably ask yourself, "Green Bay's DEF??? Don't they SUCK???"
Actually, they are not that bad. The reason I dropped Oakland, was that they are playing Denver this week. With CJ on a bye this week, I had to start Lelie. If he scored a TD(Rec 3pt), OAK DEF would loose 2pts (look over the rules posted for Def Scoring in an earlier post). GB Def takes on Atlanta. If they can cause some pressure on Vick, I can get some good points. They have perform better than Oakland anyway. There is also something else that sold me on GB. Championship weekend they play Baltimore. If it is the same Baltimore as right now, it will look like a genious move. But, if Kyle Boller emerges to become something, it may be a bad move. I would have to resort to SD DEF. WHAT AM I SAYING??? Boller???
You probably ask yourself, "Green Bay's DEF??? Don't they SUCK???"
Actually, they are not that bad. The reason I dropped Oakland, was that they are playing Denver this week. With CJ on a bye this week, I had to start Lelie. If he scored a TD(Rec 3pt), OAK DEF would loose 2pts (look over the rules posted for Def Scoring in an earlier post). GB Def takes on Atlanta. If they can cause some pressure on Vick, I can get some good points. They have perform better than Oakland anyway. There is also something else that sold me on GB. Championship weekend they play Baltimore. If it is the same Baltimore as right now, it will look like a genious move. But, if Kyle Boller emerges to become something, it may be a bad move. I would have to resort to SD DEF. WHAT AM I SAYING??? Boller???
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
Losing Sucks
I lost this week to an opponent that I thought I would roll over. Westbrook wasn't enough to overcome a 9pt deficit. He only racked up 3pts. I lost with my worst showing of the season, 39-33. I have only scored in the 30's twice. The last time was back in week 5 with 37. I can't afford any more showings like that. Next week, I play Kaiser's Krushers. He is a good owner and is usually one step ahead of me. Hopefully I can beat him this time. He is favored 56-47. I lost earlier this season 83-48. Carolina WR Steve Smith killed me that week with 18pts against Miami. This week he is up against the Jets. I don't know if that is any better or not. The Jags Def also scored 17pts which is the second highest they have scored this season. They play Baltimore. Well Hell, I think I am done for. I will need to win my last two games to make sure I get in the playoffs. I guess that is why they play the games. But not TO, have fun on the couch the rest of the season.
B Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
ShadowKahn 6 3 0 0.667 0 L1 2-1-0 0 440.0 113.0 389.0
KY Intimidators 6 3 0 0.667 0 L1 2-1-0 0 424.0 129.0 386.0
Bengalstorm 3 6 0 0.333 3 W1 1-3-0 2 455.0 98.0 424.0
A Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
Kaiser's Krushers 5 4 0 0.556 0 W1 3-0-0 1 501.0 52.0 434.0
Eldora Highbanks 4 5 0 0.444 1 W2 2-1-0 0 392.0 161.0 478.0
Brigands 3 6 0 0.333 2 L2 0-4-0 0 360.0 193.0 419.0
C Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
Lexington Nightmares 6 3 0 0.667 0 W3 3-1-0 2 480.0 73.0 492.0
The Big Cheeses 3 6 0 0.333 3 L3 2-1-0 1 427.0 126.0 425.0
Insane Barbarians 3 6 0 0.333 3 L1 0-3-0 0 361.0 192.0 493.0
D Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
Guts and Glory 7 2 0 0.778 0 W7 2-2-0 3 553.0 0.0 402.0
The Big Kahunas 6 3 0 0.667 1 W1 2-1-0 0 476.0 77.0 422.0
LigerCats 2 7 0 0.222 5 L5 1-2-0 0 378.0 175.0 483.0
B Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
ShadowKahn 6 3 0 0.667 0 L1 2-1-0 0 440.0 113.0 389.0
KY Intimidators 6 3 0 0.667 0 L1 2-1-0 0 424.0 129.0 386.0
Bengalstorm 3 6 0 0.333 3 W1 1-3-0 2 455.0 98.0 424.0
A Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
Kaiser's Krushers 5 4 0 0.556 0 W1 3-0-0 1 501.0 52.0 434.0
Eldora Highbanks 4 5 0 0.444 1 W2 2-1-0 0 392.0 161.0 478.0
Brigands 3 6 0 0.333 2 L2 0-4-0 0 360.0 193.0 419.0
C Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
Lexington Nightmares 6 3 0 0.667 0 W3 3-1-0 2 480.0 73.0 492.0
The Big Cheeses 3 6 0 0.333 3 L3 2-1-0 1 427.0 126.0 425.0
Insane Barbarians 3 6 0 0.333 3 L1 0-3-0 0 361.0 192.0 493.0
D Division
Team W L T PCT GB Strk Div Wks PF Back PA
Guts and Glory 7 2 0 0.778 0 W7 2-2-0 3 553.0 0.0 402.0
The Big Kahunas 6 3 0 0.667 1 W1 2-1-0 0 476.0 77.0 422.0
LigerCats 2 7 0 0.222 5 L5 1-2-0 0 378.0 175.0 483.0
Thursday, November 3, 2005
Late FF Update
I won my game this week, 42-32. It looks to be an easy matchup this week. I am favored by 11 against Highbanks.
Side note: The wife has a new job that starts next week. Look for me to be blogging more. It is hard to keep up with this when she is home. I am doing this from work, so I better stop doing this and get to work.
Side note: The wife has a new job that starts next week. Look for me to be blogging more. It is hard to keep up with this when she is home. I am doing this from work, so I better stop doing this and get to work.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
The Baseball Game
So, you take your young son to his first ball game.
Good father and son stuff... right??
Super Male bonding, right??
You buy him a coke... pop corn... a ballcap and three hot dogs.
Then, "whack"...He see's his first homer . .
Will he remember this wonderful day spent with you??
Will he remember the special unique taste of the ball park hot dogs??
Will he often think of that tremendous boomer home run ??
NAHHHHHHHH ~~~~~~~~
What will he remember ??
Good father and son stuff... right??
Super Male bonding, right??
You buy him a coke... pop corn... a ballcap and three hot dogs.
Then, "whack"...He see's his first homer . .
Will he remember this wonderful day spent with you??
Will he remember the special unique taste of the ball park hot dogs??
Will he often think of that tremendous boomer home run ??
NAHHHHHHHH ~~~~~~~~
What will he remember ??
Both Sides
An Indiana man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in KY and I worked both sides of the Ohio River."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in KY and I worked both sides of the Ohio River."
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
KYI 5-2
Way to go Jets, you kept Vick contained. He only scored 12 points. KYI 43 TBC 31.
(somehow lost a point on my defense after scoring correction) After week 7, the standings look like this.
Div A
Kaisers Krushers 4-3
Brigands 3-4
Eldora Highbanks 2-5
Div B
ShadowKahn 5-2
KYI 5-2
Bengalstorm 2-5
Div C
Lex Nightmares 4-3
The Big Cheeses 3-4
Insane Barbarians 2-5
Div D
Guts and Glory 5-2
The Big Kahunas 5-2
Ligercats 2-5
(somehow lost a point on my defense after scoring correction) After week 7, the standings look like this.
Div A
Kaisers Krushers 4-3
Brigands 3-4
Eldora Highbanks 2-5
Div B
ShadowKahn 5-2
KYI 5-2
Bengalstorm 2-5
Div C
Lex Nightmares 4-3
The Big Cheeses 3-4
Insane Barbarians 2-5
Div D
Guts and Glory 5-2
The Big Kahunas 5-2
Ligercats 2-5
Monday, October 24, 2005
J E T S JETS JETS JETS
Tonight I am rooting on the Jets defense. I need them to shut down Vick. I am winning 44-19. As long as he doesn't have a career night, I win. ShadowKahn's game is already final, he lost. Good for me. We are now tied again for the division lead as long as I hold on to this 25 point lead. Once again...(and I can't believe I am saying this)
J E T S
JETS JETS JETS
J E T S
JETS JETS JETS
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Going into Sunday
After Friday night's game, the score of my game is still 0-0. He had the Miami kicker +8 and defense-8. I am looking forward to today's games.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
KY Girl
A girl from Kentucky and a girl from the west coast were seated
side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Kentucky, being friendly and all, said,
"So, where y'all from?"
The West coast girl said, "From a place where they know better
than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Kentucky sat quietly for a few momen ts and then
replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
side by side on an airplane.
The girl from Kentucky, being friendly and all, said,
"So, where y'all from?"
The West coast girl said, "From a place where they know better
than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Kentucky sat quietly for a few momen ts and then
replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Half way mark
Week 6 of the NFL season probably marks a lot of fantasy football's mid way point of their regular season. There are many people out there wondering what happened. There are teams that started out hot and have died off. There are also teams that keep going strong. I am doing good now at 4-2. Yes, I won this past week, 51-47. I got lucky that TE Dallas Clark didn't catch any of those touchdowns Monday night. My team is keeping pace with ShadowKahn, 5-1. He is a 2 pt favorite over Lexington Nightmares, 3-3. It could be a tough match up for him. Don't let their record full you. They are in front in their division, but have lost a couple of really close games. My team is also a 2 pt favorite over The Big Cheeses, 3-3 (a really big Packer-fan). We fought over Favre. Our games are pivitol for their division. So you know what in the hell I am talking about...
Divisions A and B are Conference 1
Divisions C and D are Conference 2
Division winners are in the playoff along with two wildcard teams out of each conference.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers 4-2
Eldora Highbanks 2-4
Brigands 2-4
Division B
ShadowKahn 5-1
KY Intimidators 4-2
Bengalstorm 2-4
Division C
Lexington Nightmares 3-3
The Big Cheeses 3-3
Insane Barbarians 1-5
Division D
Guts and Glory 4-2
The Big Kahunas 4-2
LigerCats 2-4
Only six more weeks to go, then PLAYOFFS!!!
Divisions A and B are Conference 1
Divisions C and D are Conference 2
Division winners are in the playoff along with two wildcard teams out of each conference.
Division A
Kaiser's Krushers 4-2
Eldora Highbanks 2-4
Brigands 2-4
Division B
ShadowKahn 5-1
KY Intimidators 4-2
Bengalstorm 2-4
Division C
Lexington Nightmares 3-3
The Big Cheeses 3-3
Insane Barbarians 1-5
Division D
Guts and Glory 4-2
The Big Kahunas 4-2
LigerCats 2-4
Only six more weeks to go, then PLAYOFFS!!!
Friday, October 14, 2005
I hate being sick
I started getting sick yesterday. I woke up worse today. My head is congested and my nose wont stop running. UGH!!! I had to call off work. There was no way that I could have gotten through work today. I am most likely taking off tomorrow. I don't want to spread what I have. When it drops into your chest, it is like carrying a 60 lbs kid around all day. The back hurts and you have no energy. Good luck to everyone else out there who haven't gotten sick yet. I am just glad that I am getting this out of the way early. My immune system will be up for the rest of the winter. I don't look forward to getting sick until the season starts to change for spring.
FF Update- I am going into this weekend an 8 pt underdog. That don't mean shit. My team usually performs better the weeks that I am an underdog.
FF Update- I am going into this weekend an 8 pt underdog. That don't mean shit. My team usually performs better the weeks that I am an underdog.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
KYI Update
Well, this sucks. I lost 44-37, which makes my current record 3-2. LT is a killer when it comes to fantasy football. His two tds was the deciding factor. Next week I will have Moss and Porter back. Hopefully I can go on a run and win my division. It is going to tough now that I am a game back along with ShadowKahn having the tiebreaker. I definitely need to win our next matchup later in the season.
The funniest thing that happened this week was the new Brigands coach getting the team's first win. My former boss probably feels like crap. Of course he is off work this week, I can't give him any shit about his wife getting the win.
The funniest thing that happened this week was the new Brigands coach getting the team's first win. My former boss probably feels like crap. Of course he is off work this week, I can't give him any shit about his wife getting the win.
Monday, October 10, 2005
A long awaited post
I have been wanting to post an update about some fantasy football news. If you read the comments, I had a good post going. When I clicked the post button, it told me that blogspot was down for maintenance. Then my wife's parents came in town and never had time to post. Well, here it goes.
The owner of the Brigands quit the league. After I whooped his ass for his fourth loss of the season, his wife decided to take over the team. Right now she is up, 38-34, going into MNF. Even with a good showing this week, she may still not win with McCardell having to play.
I am up 33-22 going in. Looks like a tough night. I have San Diego's Def against LT and Kaeding. Winner is up on division and conference.
Now, here is a little about how fantasy football works. You get about 8-12 people together to form a league. Each owner drafts a team due to league rules. Schedules are made for head to head matchups. Scoring is based on each players stats. Also depending on the league rules, playoffs are set and a champion is crowned. The following is what we have set in our 12 team league.
Roster Limits
Status Min Max
Active Players 8 8
Reserve Players 0 10
Injured Players 0 2
Total Players 8 19
Position Min Max
Active QB 1 1
Active RB 0 1
Active WR 2 3
Active TE 1 2
Active K 1 1
Active DST 1 1
Illegal rosters score zero points in standings.
Scoring for Offensive Categories
FG - Field Goals 3 points
Plus 1 point for a FG of 45+ Yds
XP - Extra Points 1 point
MFG - Missed Field Goal -1 point
MXP - Missed Extra Point -1 point
FL - Fumble Lost, Including ST plays -1 point
PaInt - Passing Interception -1 point
Pa2P - Passing Two-point Conversion 1 point
PaTD - Passing TD 3 points
PaYd - Passing Yards 0 - 240 PaYds = 1 point for every 30 PaYds
241+ PaYds = 1 point for every 20 PaYds
Re2P - Receiving Two-point Conversion 1 point
ReTD - Receiving TD 3 points
ReYd - Receiving Yards 0 - 80 ReYds = 1 point for every 20 ReYds
81+ ReYds = 1 point for every 15 ReYds
Ru2P - Rushing Two-point Conversion 2 points
RuTD - Rushing TD 6 points
RuYd - Rushing Yards 0 - 80 RuYds = 1 point for every 20 RuYds
81+ RuYds = 1 point for every 15 RuYds
Scoring for Defensive Categories
BFB - Blocked Field Goals (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
BP - Blocked Punts (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
DFR - Defensive/ST Fumble Recovered (ID/DT/DST) 1 point
Int - Interceptions 1 point
DTD - Total Defensive and Special Teams TD 6 points
PA - Points Against, Total Points Scored
0 - 0 PAs = 10 points
1 - 5 PA = 8 points
6 - 10 PA = 6 points
11 - 15 PA = 4 points
16 - 20 PA = 2 points
21 - 24 PA = 0 points
25 - 27 PA = -1 point
28 - 30 PA = -2 points
31 - 33 PA = -3 points
34 - 36 PA = -4 points
37 - 39 PA = -5 points
40 - 42 PA = -6 points
43 - 45 PA = -7 points
46 - 48 PA = -8 points
49 - 51 PA = -9 points
52 - 54 PA = -10 points
55 - 57 PA = -11 points
58 - 60 PA = -12 points
61 - 100 PA = -13 points
SACK - Sack 1 point
STY - Safety 2 points
YDS - Yards Allowed
0 - 19 YDSs = 16 points
20 - 59 YDSs = 14 points
60 - 99 YDSs = 12 points
100 - 139 YDSs = 10 points
140 - 179 YDSs = 8 points
180 - 219 YDSs = 6 points
220 - 259 YDSs = 4 points
260 - 299 YDSs = 2 points
300 - 339 YDSs = 0 points
340 - 379 YDSs = -2 points
380 - 419 YDSs = -4 points
420 - 459 YDSs = -6 points
460 - 499 YDSs = -8 points
500 - 539 YDSs = -10 points
540 - 579 YDSs = -12 points
580 - 619 YDSs = -14 points
620+ YDSs = -16 points
Playoffs
1st round (week 13) - 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, 3 vs. 6 & 4 vs. 5.
2nd round (week 14) - Winner of 1 vs. 8 VS 4 vs. 5 & Winner of 2 vs. 7 VS. 3 vs. 6
4th round (week 15) - Superbowl
The owner of the Brigands quit the league. After I whooped his ass for his fourth loss of the season, his wife decided to take over the team. Right now she is up, 38-34, going into MNF. Even with a good showing this week, she may still not win with McCardell having to play.
I am up 33-22 going in. Looks like a tough night. I have San Diego's Def against LT and Kaeding. Winner is up on division and conference.
Now, here is a little about how fantasy football works. You get about 8-12 people together to form a league. Each owner drafts a team due to league rules. Schedules are made for head to head matchups. Scoring is based on each players stats. Also depending on the league rules, playoffs are set and a champion is crowned. The following is what we have set in our 12 team league.
Roster Limits
Status Min Max
Active Players 8 8
Reserve Players 0 10
Injured Players 0 2
Total Players 8 19
Position Min Max
Active QB 1 1
Active RB 0 1
Active WR 2 3
Active TE 1 2
Active K 1 1
Active DST 1 1
Illegal rosters score zero points in standings.
Scoring for Offensive Categories
FG - Field Goals 3 points
Plus 1 point for a FG of 45+ Yds
XP - Extra Points 1 point
MFG - Missed Field Goal -1 point
MXP - Missed Extra Point -1 point
FL - Fumble Lost, Including ST plays -1 point
PaInt - Passing Interception -1 point
Pa2P - Passing Two-point Conversion 1 point
PaTD - Passing TD 3 points
PaYd - Passing Yards 0 - 240 PaYds = 1 point for every 30 PaYds
241+ PaYds = 1 point for every 20 PaYds
Re2P - Receiving Two-point Conversion 1 point
ReTD - Receiving TD 3 points
ReYd - Receiving Yards 0 - 80 ReYds = 1 point for every 20 ReYds
81+ ReYds = 1 point for every 15 ReYds
Ru2P - Rushing Two-point Conversion 2 points
RuTD - Rushing TD 6 points
RuYd - Rushing Yards 0 - 80 RuYds = 1 point for every 20 RuYds
81+ RuYds = 1 point for every 15 RuYds
Scoring for Defensive Categories
BFB - Blocked Field Goals (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
BP - Blocked Punts (ID/ST/DST) 1 point
DFR - Defensive/ST Fumble Recovered (ID/DT/DST) 1 point
Int - Interceptions 1 point
DTD - Total Defensive and Special Teams TD 6 points
PA - Points Against, Total Points Scored
0 - 0 PAs = 10 points
1 - 5 PA = 8 points
6 - 10 PA = 6 points
11 - 15 PA = 4 points
16 - 20 PA = 2 points
21 - 24 PA = 0 points
25 - 27 PA = -1 point
28 - 30 PA = -2 points
31 - 33 PA = -3 points
34 - 36 PA = -4 points
37 - 39 PA = -5 points
40 - 42 PA = -6 points
43 - 45 PA = -7 points
46 - 48 PA = -8 points
49 - 51 PA = -9 points
52 - 54 PA = -10 points
55 - 57 PA = -11 points
58 - 60 PA = -12 points
61 - 100 PA = -13 points
SACK - Sack 1 point
STY - Safety 2 points
YDS - Yards Allowed
0 - 19 YDSs = 16 points
20 - 59 YDSs = 14 points
60 - 99 YDSs = 12 points
100 - 139 YDSs = 10 points
140 - 179 YDSs = 8 points
180 - 219 YDSs = 6 points
220 - 259 YDSs = 4 points
260 - 299 YDSs = 2 points
300 - 339 YDSs = 0 points
340 - 379 YDSs = -2 points
380 - 419 YDSs = -4 points
420 - 459 YDSs = -6 points
460 - 499 YDSs = -8 points
500 - 539 YDSs = -10 points
540 - 579 YDSs = -12 points
580 - 619 YDSs = -14 points
620+ YDSs = -16 points
Playoffs
1st round (week 13) - 1 vs. 8, 2 vs. 7, 3 vs. 6 & 4 vs. 5.
2nd round (week 14) - Winner of 1 vs. 8 VS 4 vs. 5 & Winner of 2 vs. 7 VS. 3 vs. 6
4th round (week 15) - Superbowl
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Dr. Phil
DR. PHIL WAS CONDUCTING A GROUP THERAPY SESSION WITH FOUR YOUNG MOTHERS AND THEIR SMALL CHILDREN.
"YOU ALL HAVE OBSESSIONS," HE OBSERVED.
TO THE FIRST MOTHER, HE SAID, "YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EATING. YOU'VE EVEN NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER CANDY."
HE TURNED TO THE SECOND MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS WITH MONEY. AGAIN, IT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, PENNY."
HE TURNS TO THE THIRD MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS ALCOHOL. THIS, TOO, MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, BRANDY."
AT THIS POINT, THE FOURTH MOTHER GETS UP TAKES HER LITTLE BOY BY THE HAND AND WHISPERS, "COME ON DICK, WE'RE LEAVING."
"YOU ALL HAVE OBSESSIONS," HE OBSERVED.
TO THE FIRST MOTHER, HE SAID, "YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EATING. YOU'VE EVEN NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER CANDY."
HE TURNED TO THE SECOND MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS WITH MONEY. AGAIN, IT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, PENNY."
HE TURNS TO THE THIRD MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS ALCOHOL. THIS, TOO, MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, BRANDY."
AT THIS POINT, THE FOURTH MOTHER GETS UP TAKES HER LITTLE BOY BY THE HAND AND WHISPERS, "COME ON DICK, WE'RE LEAVING."
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen
I had my ass handed to my on a silver platter. I will have cole slaw and fries with that. I lost 83-48. It was all because of matchups. My players had harder matchups compared to the Krushers. We will have a rematch in week 10. The Intimidators look to bounce back against an 0-3 team. It would be nice to hand my ex-boss his fourth loss of the season. He gloated when he whooped on me the past two seasons. Time for payback.
Friday, September 23, 2005
UK vs Duke
A Duke family of basketball supporters headed out one Saturday to shop
for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop the son
picks up a Kentucky jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided
to become a Wildcat fan and I would like this Kentucky jersey for my
birthday".
His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother".
Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother.
"Mom?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I
would like this jersey for my birthday". The mother is outraged at
this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your
father!"
Off he goes with the Kentucky jersey in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I
would like this jersey for my birthday". The father is outraged and
promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is
ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all
back in the car and heading towards home.
The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned
something today?" The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have." "Good son, what
is it?" The son replies, "I've only been a Kentucky fan for an hour and I
already hate you Duke bastards."
for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop the son
picks up a Kentucky jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided
to become a Wildcat fan and I would like this Kentucky jersey for my
birthday".
His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother".
Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother.
"Mom?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I
would like this jersey for my birthday". The mother is outraged at
this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your
father!"
Off he goes with the Kentucky jersey in hand and finds his father.
"Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I
would like this jersey for my birthday". The father is outraged and
promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is
ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all
back in the car and heading towards home.
The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned
something today?" The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have." "Good son, what
is it?" The son replies, "I've only been a Kentucky fan for an hour and I
already hate you Duke bastards."
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
KYI 2-0
With a totally dominating performance, I won my fantasy football game 71-43. There is only three undefeated teams left in the league. Next week we take on Kaiser's Krushers. I am not going to take this team easy. I am favored already by 11. Should be an interesting game. 3-0 would be a nice way to start the season.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Friday, September 16, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
Nascar Update - The Chase Begins...
With the Chase finally beginning with next week's race at New Hampshire, I just want to put out (again) that I am pulling for Tony Stewart. All five of Roush's cars will be out there, this is going to be a tough challenge. GO TONY!!!
1. 20 - Tony Stewart - 5050 - Will hold on to the lead and win a second championship
2. 16 - Greg Biffle - 5045 - Good charge at the end of the regular season
3. 2 - Rusty Wallace - 5040 - Rusty's Last Call, could a championship be served with that?
4. 48 - Jimmie Johnson - 5035 - JACKASS
5. 97 - Kurt Busch - 5030 - The Ferret-brother will not repeat
6. 6 - Mark Martin - 5025 - Would be nice to see him get one before he retires...NEXT YEAR
7. 19 - Jeremy Marfield - 5020 - Hey Jer-e-my!
8. 99 - Carl Edwards - 5015 - Can't wait to see him land on his head one of these times
8. 17 - Matt Kenseth - 5015 - Ok, you kept Gordan out, time to hit the wall
10. 12 - Ryan Newman - 5005 - Same as Kenseth, maybe Jarrett can help you with that
1. 20 - Tony Stewart - 5050 - Will hold on to the lead and win a second championship
2. 16 - Greg Biffle - 5045 - Good charge at the end of the regular season
3. 2 - Rusty Wallace - 5040 - Rusty's Last Call, could a championship be served with that?
4. 48 - Jimmie Johnson - 5035 - JACKASS
5. 97 - Kurt Busch - 5030 - The Ferret-brother will not repeat
6. 6 - Mark Martin - 5025 - Would be nice to see him get one before he retires...NEXT YEAR
7. 19 - Jeremy Marfield - 5020 - Hey Jer-e-my!
8. 99 - Carl Edwards - 5015 - Can't wait to see him land on his head one of these times
8. 17 - Matt Kenseth - 5015 - Ok, you kept Gordan out, time to hit the wall
10. 12 - Ryan Newman - 5005 - Same as Kenseth, maybe Jarrett can help you with that
Kentucky Intimidators 1-0
After the conclusion of Sunday's games, KYI won their season opener 36-28. There is a still a long season to go. There may be a few changes to the team come later this week. Look for Kyle Boller to be cut. The problem will come with finding a decent QB to use for a back up (ie Favre's bye week). Speaking of Favre, hopefully this week was an off week. May be dressing more than four receivers could help. How can you have and depth/rotation with only four WRs in GB?
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
Now for your 2005-2006 Kentucky Intimidators
QB-GB Brett Favre
RB-DAL Julius Jones
WR-CIN Chad Johnson
WR-DEN Ashley Lelie
WR-OAK Randy Moss
TE-NYG Jeremy Shockey
K-CIN Shayne Graham
DST-OAK Raiders
Bench
QB-BAL Kyle Boller
QB-GB Craig Nall
RB-TEN Chris Brown
RB-PHI Brian Westbrook
WR-OAK Jerry Porter
WR-NO Donte Stallworth
WR-ATL Roddy White
TE-DEN Jeb Putzier
K-NYJ Mike Nugent
DST-SD Chargers
REVENGE
They just can't leave well enough alone. The greatest man in bicycle racing retires and the French want to piss him off. This once again shows how dumb they can be. Finally someone from France or even that, another county, could have a chance to win the tour. So what do they do? Attack him! Put a black spot on his legacy! How dare they? Now he might come out of retirement to get his eighth Tour in a row and REVENGE. You all know me, I like the number 8.
Monday, September 5, 2005
Saturday, September 3, 2005
Katrina Story Gets to Take a Back Seat
With the passing of Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, the Katrina Relief story gets to stop at a rest stop. This is really big news because now GWB gets to name two Court Justices within a year's time. The battle for John Roberts will be very interesting with another appointment around the corner and possibly a third before the end of Bush's term. I am sure John Roberts will get through, no problem. This next one, I am sure, will be considered an "extreme circumstance" to Democrats. It will be extreme because they are loosing more grip of the government. I wonder what psycho-babble will come flying out from the left.
I have to say, President Bush has a huge plate. The war in Iraq, the war on terror, the confirmation of John Roberts, selecting another Justice, Sheehan (but I think Bush is done with her), and finally Katrina.
New Orleans is definitly going to take some time, a long time. New Orleans will be up and running efficiently by the time Bush it out of office. He will go down in history known for many things. Just take a look at the small list above.
Unfortunately, Mayor "I don't give a fuck" and Govornor "Oh, was I supposed to do something?" did very little for the people of the New Orleans area. It takes a person that will go the extra mile. GWB has started the clean up of someone else's mess. Actually looking back on past Natural Disasters, he about right on time for federal response.
I have read a lot on the internet the past couple of days. I know hind sight is 20/20, but there was so much that they could have done.
When they tell you that is a Manditory Evacuation, that means...
You have about one hour to get as many belongings that you can fit in one duffle bag (one bag per person). A bus is sent to each block to fill up with CIVILIANS (you know, the people that the mayor and govornor are sworn to protect?).
There are many cities that would be able to shelter all of these people. If you have common sense, I don't need to list all of the types of buildings that could be used as a sleep over (that is what the Superdome was intended to be). This way they are not in the crosshairs.
There was plenty of time to evacuate the entire city. There would have not been one death, unless it was natural causes. How can that mayor sleep at night, knowing he had all the resources to save so many lives?
I have to say, President Bush has a huge plate. The war in Iraq, the war on terror, the confirmation of John Roberts, selecting another Justice, Sheehan (but I think Bush is done with her), and finally Katrina.
New Orleans is definitly going to take some time, a long time. New Orleans will be up and running efficiently by the time Bush it out of office. He will go down in history known for many things. Just take a look at the small list above.
Unfortunately, Mayor "I don't give a fuck" and Govornor "Oh, was I supposed to do something?" did very little for the people of the New Orleans area. It takes a person that will go the extra mile. GWB has started the clean up of someone else's mess. Actually looking back on past Natural Disasters, he about right on time for federal response.
I have read a lot on the internet the past couple of days. I know hind sight is 20/20, but there was so much that they could have done.
When they tell you that is a Manditory Evacuation, that means...
You have about one hour to get as many belongings that you can fit in one duffle bag (one bag per person). A bus is sent to each block to fill up with CIVILIANS (you know, the people that the mayor and govornor are sworn to protect?).
There are many cities that would be able to shelter all of these people. If you have common sense, I don't need to list all of the types of buildings that could be used as a sleep over (that is what the Superdome was intended to be). This way they are not in the crosshairs.
There was plenty of time to evacuate the entire city. There would have not been one death, unless it was natural causes. How can that mayor sleep at night, knowing he had all the resources to save so many lives?
Thursday, September 1, 2005
What the hell?
I cannot believe it is now Thursday and Nascar has not fined Dale Jarrett for causing an intentional caution. That is against Nascar rules.
Section 12-4 (N)of the 2005 Nextel Cup Rulebook says, "Any driver who in the judgment of NASCAR officials intentionally causes or attempts to cause a caution condition by stopping or spinning out or any other action [shall suffer]: a fine, and/or loss of points, and/or loss of finishing.
I am not a Ryan Newman fan, but what he did was not intentional. What Jarrett did was. Going into turn three, he slowed down so Newman would go high. When they got into the middle of the turn, Jarrett turn RIGHT to clip Newman's back fender spinning both of them. It also gave Kevin Harvick a DNF.
I remember a race when JR was loosing laps and spun out going into a turn with no one around him. He was slapped with a $10,000 fine. Why aren't the same rules applied here? Was it because Jarrett is a past champion? No, that can't be it. SR used to get away with all the time. Sorry Mr. Jarrett, the bad boy image doesn't work for you. There is one other scenario. Maybe Nascar is saying that the two lap penalty was enough. Come on Nascar. Obviously you were saying that wreck was intentional. So next time you want you attempt to put your balls on the table and penalize a driver to taking out another in retaliation, how about holding that driver until the other driver's car is repaired, then accessing the two lap penalty?
Section 12-4 (N)of the 2005 Nextel Cup Rulebook says, "Any driver who in the judgment of NASCAR officials intentionally causes or attempts to cause a caution condition by stopping or spinning out or any other action [shall suffer]: a fine, and/or loss of points, and/or loss of finishing.
I am not a Ryan Newman fan, but what he did was not intentional. What Jarrett did was. Going into turn three, he slowed down so Newman would go high. When they got into the middle of the turn, Jarrett turn RIGHT to clip Newman's back fender spinning both of them. It also gave Kevin Harvick a DNF.
I remember a race when JR was loosing laps and spun out going into a turn with no one around him. He was slapped with a $10,000 fine. Why aren't the same rules applied here? Was it because Jarrett is a past champion? No, that can't be it. SR used to get away with all the time. Sorry Mr. Jarrett, the bad boy image doesn't work for you. There is one other scenario. Maybe Nascar is saying that the two lap penalty was enough. Come on Nascar. Obviously you were saying that wreck was intentional. So next time you want you attempt to put your balls on the table and penalize a driver to taking out another in retaliation, how about holding that driver until the other driver's car is repaired, then accessing the two lap penalty?
Good News
Good news everyone. Rob is ok. I got home from work and checked the site. There was a brief comment. I am looking forward to his up and coming posts. I am sure he will have a few stories.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Where is Rob?
Sunday night I started looking for bloggers in the New Orleans area that was going to attempt to ride out the storm. I was thinking it might be interesting to get a first hand account of a hurricane as it happened. I came accross CrabAppleLane.net from Bush, LA. So I bookmarked it for the following morning.
My work week is Tuesday thru Saturday. I like having Mondays off, because now that the kids are in school, I get to spend more time with Mrs. B.
I woke up Monday morning. I started the coffee, grabbed a cigarette, and fired up the laptop. I changed the Weatherbug to New Orleans zip code, so I could get the better radar. I brought up CrabAppleLane.net. I read his latest post from 5:10am. From the looks of it, he stayed up most of the night. His last post was at 6:26am.
6:26AM - The wind has intensified significantly. A big branch landed with a thud just outside my window. The rain hasn’t been that bad. We’ve experienced a few power hiccups but nothing major yet. Next entry will be after daylight, power permitting.
He was supposedly not alone. He was with family members of Mama and Patsy. There are also family members that lived in the area. Janine, Michael, and their children in Mandeville. David stayed in Slidell. (all of this info has been found by their "Family Blog".
I do not know any of these people. I came across their websites by pure accident. I look at as that God would want me to pray for their safe return. Please keep them in your prayers, along with all other victims and families affected by Katrina. I have never worried so much about a total stranger. Kind of odd. But these people are fellow Americans.
Katrina
Our country has been through many trials and tribulations. We may get knocked down to our knees, but we always rise up. Why? Because we are Americans! We have always come to the aid of our fellow man. We also know, that when it is our turn to go through troubling times, other fellow Americans will help in hour of need.
We pray for all of those victims and families that are affected by this tragedy.
We pray for all of those victims and families that are affected by this tragedy.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Honest Weeks Work
Here's a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a
little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that
we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time . .
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more
or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her,
let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave
her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the
end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the
appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay"
she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked
the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew
building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on
the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied,"I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fucking sheetrock!
little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that
we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time . .
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in
all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day
observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more
or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her,
let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave
her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the
end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the
appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay"
she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked
the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a
young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew
building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on
the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied,"I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fucking sheetrock!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE
The shit has hit the fan, literally. Right before the up and coming season of college basketball, UC President Dr. Nancy Zimpher has accentually FIRED UC Head Basketball Coach Bob Huggins.
Either way, UC basketball will be going into the Big East conference without its esteemed coach of 16 years, the winningest coach in school history. He's led the Bearcats to 14 consecutive NCAA tournament appearances.
Nice way to send a great coach out on his coat tales, bitch. This is something that happens at the end of a season, NOT THE BEGINNING. He should have had the chance to take his last team out as winners. The reason that you are going to the Big East Zimpher, is because of Huggins. Not your short two years as President. Apparently this is one department of UC that DID NOT NEED A CHANGE.
Look at these numbers and look again at why young students want to attend your college. They want to be apart of the Huggins era.
His 542-191 record ranks him seventh in winning percentage among active division one coaches.
Those wins include 10 conference regular season titles and eight league tournament titles for the Bearcats. He's also taken the team to the NCAA tourney 14 times in a row.
You are just upset because no one knows who you are when it comes to UC history.
Not only does Huggins get the shaft, so does the players. They have spent the entire summer getting accustomed to Huggins' system. Now that is all trash. Time to start anew. This will last into the season, because the new coach will not have the total trust and respect that Huggins had with them. They all knew that Huggins would stand shoulder to shoulder with them when facing any opponent on the court. This is a coach that can take control of a situation when the pressure is on late in the game. He knows how to handle a young, talented Freshman when he needs to make the winning shot. Many of the player come from far away to play for Huggins. They could have easily have signed with bigger named schools closer to home. But no, they want to play for Huggy-bear.
In the end the fans get the shaft. For just about the same reasons above, us fans do not know if the new coach can make the right call, when it is all on the line.
Can you say, NIT???
Either way, UC basketball will be going into the Big East conference without its esteemed coach of 16 years, the winningest coach in school history. He's led the Bearcats to 14 consecutive NCAA tournament appearances.
Nice way to send a great coach out on his coat tales, bitch. This is something that happens at the end of a season, NOT THE BEGINNING. He should have had the chance to take his last team out as winners. The reason that you are going to the Big East Zimpher, is because of Huggins. Not your short two years as President. Apparently this is one department of UC that DID NOT NEED A CHANGE.
Look at these numbers and look again at why young students want to attend your college. They want to be apart of the Huggins era.
His 542-191 record ranks him seventh in winning percentage among active division one coaches.
Those wins include 10 conference regular season titles and eight league tournament titles for the Bearcats. He's also taken the team to the NCAA tourney 14 times in a row.
You are just upset because no one knows who you are when it comes to UC history.
Not only does Huggins get the shaft, so does the players. They have spent the entire summer getting accustomed to Huggins' system. Now that is all trash. Time to start anew. This will last into the season, because the new coach will not have the total trust and respect that Huggins had with them. They all knew that Huggins would stand shoulder to shoulder with them when facing any opponent on the court. This is a coach that can take control of a situation when the pressure is on late in the game. He knows how to handle a young, talented Freshman when he needs to make the winning shot. Many of the player come from far away to play for Huggins. They could have easily have signed with bigger named schools closer to home. But no, they want to play for Huggy-bear.
In the end the fans get the shaft. For just about the same reasons above, us fans do not know if the new coach can make the right call, when it is all on the line.
Can you say, NIT???
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Weight Loss Program
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs.
As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran across an
ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
“Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he
called them up and subscribed to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he answered, there
stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed
in nothing but air, some Nike running shoes, and a sign
around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and got the action he was
hoping for.
After they were through and she left, he thought to himself, "I like
the way this company does business!"
The same girl showed up for the next two days and the same thing
happened.
On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he
had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5-day / 20 pound program.
The next day there was a knock on the door and there stood the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read,
"If you catch me, you can have me." He was out the door after her like a shot.
This girl was in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but when he did, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happened. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50
pound program "Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone.
This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years".
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he opened it he
found a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but Pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck that read, "If I catch you, you're mine."
As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran across an
ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.
“Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he
called them up and subscribed to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he answered, there
stood before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed
in nothing but air, some Nike running shoes, and a sign
around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally caught her and got the action he was
hoping for.
After they were through and she left, he thought to himself, "I like
the way this company does business!"
The same girl showed up for the next two days and the same thing
happened.
On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he
had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5-day / 20 pound program.
The next day there was a knock on the door and there stood the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read,
"If you catch me, you can have me." He was out the door after her like a shot.
This girl was in excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but when he did, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happened. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50
pound program "Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone.
This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this good in years".
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he opened it he
found a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but Pink running
shoes and a sign around his neck that read, "If I catch you, you're mine."
"PROOF" that Women are Evil
Women takes time and money.
Women = time x money
Time IS money
Women = money x money = money ^ 2
Money is the root of all evil
money = sqrt(evil)
=> money^2 = evil
since women = money^2
women = evil :)
Women = time x money
Time IS money
Women = money x money = money ^ 2
Money is the root of all evil
money = sqrt(evil)
=> money^2 = evil
since women = money^2
women = evil :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Monday, August 15, 2005
This Week in Nascar
I didn't post anything last week. There wasn't much to post about. The only positive note that I really had, was that Truex won another race. He is running away with his REPEAT Championship. Congrats to Tony for his dream of Indy. He is an awesome driver. He is most likely the driver I am going to go with for the Chase. I am a football guy and when Joe Gibbs is guy you drive for, I will root for you. I root for mainly DEI, RCR, and JGR drivers. So at the end of the season, when Tony as his second championship, don't say I didn't tell you so. He has been on a streak lately, winning five of his last seven races. With four races until the Chase, it looks as if he will be the leader going in.
JR finished 10th. He is now 163 points out of 10th. It is time now to stop looking for points. The possibilities of making the Chase are next to nil. Time to hook up the car to go all out and go for wins. Let the chips fall where they may. With Michigan (2 miles), Bristol (0.533 miles), California (2 miles), and Richmond (0.75 miles) left, anything can happen.
Here is the present standings. Still to close to call on who will be in the Top 10 to qualify.
JR finished 10th. He is now 163 points out of 10th. It is time now to stop looking for points. The possibilities of making the Chase are next to nil. Time to hook up the car to go all out and go for wins. Let the chips fall where they may. With Michigan (2 miles), Bristol (0.533 miles), California (2 miles), and Richmond (0.75 miles) left, anything can happen.
Here is the present standings. Still to close to call on who will be in the Top 10 to qualify.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Special Friday Pun (in honor of GOC)
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Meet CJ
You are probably wondering why I haven't posted in a while. I have been very busy with this guy. He is really keeping me on my toes. It is like having another child all over again. He is constantly getting into things that he doesn't need to be in. In the long run it will be worth it. To have a dog in the house is added security. We just need to get through the house breaking without me breaking him. It should take a week or two and then everything should be roses.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Coffee Machine
1. CLICK ON THE LINK - COFFEE MACHINE
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (this one is very important, don't forget!)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (this one is very important, don't forget!)
Sheer Lingerie
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.
He is shown several items that range from $250 to $500. The more sheer, the more expensive. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, " I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
Her husband says, "Goodness ! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is Friday.
He is shown several items that range from $250 to $500. The more sheer, the more expensive. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, " I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
Her husband says, "Goodness ! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot.
Funeral is Friday.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Operation Redneck
The Pentagon announced today the formation
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit named the
U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These men from Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas,
Alabama, Georgia, and Texas will be dropped into
Iraq and will be given only the following info about
the Terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, dogs, pickup trucks, old
country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the
death of Dale Earnhardt.
The war in Iraq should be over IN ABOUT A WEEK.
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit named the
U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).
These men from Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas,
Alabama, Georgia, and Texas will be dropped into
Iraq and will be given only the following info about
the Terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, dogs, pickup trucks, old
country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the
death of Dale Earnhardt.
The war in Iraq should be over IN ABOUT A WEEK.
Whats up?
I haven't posted for a while. I just haven't been up to typing. I have been spending more hours at work, so coming home and typing just doesn't sound like fun.
I have been exploring a few other avenues of entertainment.
I took my kids out to Blockbuster the other day and bought Nascar Thunder 2003. Yes, 2003. I know it is used, but it was only ten bucks. I can get my Nascar fix any time I want now. I haven't started a season yet. I am still having problems with a few tracks.
I didn't do my usual Nascar post. Why? Did you watch the race? Junior got put down two laps and never recovered from it. The first lap down was because he got passed because he was in the pits. The other was from the penalty for leaving pit road at 143 MPH from the same pit stop. He needs to keep his cool. One lap down can be recovered from because of the "Lucky Dog". Don't get me started on that. The way I look at that rule is to take advantage of it. If Nascar sets the rules, then everyone is racing by them. He is now 110 point out of 10th with 6 races left until the Chase. He still has a chance to make it. He cannot have any more mistakes along the way. May be this week off will do him some good. A win at Indy would be a nice step in the right direction.
We finally have a story that the MSM cannot mess up. Nasa is back in space as we all know. I really don't think they could put a liberal spin on it. Any way, here is a like to a page on Nasa.gov. You are able to watch the shuttle live.
I have been exploring a few other avenues of entertainment.
I took my kids out to Blockbuster the other day and bought Nascar Thunder 2003. Yes, 2003. I know it is used, but it was only ten bucks. I can get my Nascar fix any time I want now. I haven't started a season yet. I am still having problems with a few tracks.
I didn't do my usual Nascar post. Why? Did you watch the race? Junior got put down two laps and never recovered from it. The first lap down was because he got passed because he was in the pits. The other was from the penalty for leaving pit road at 143 MPH from the same pit stop. He needs to keep his cool. One lap down can be recovered from because of the "Lucky Dog". Don't get me started on that. The way I look at that rule is to take advantage of it. If Nascar sets the rules, then everyone is racing by them. He is now 110 point out of 10th with 6 races left until the Chase. He still has a chance to make it. He cannot have any more mistakes along the way. May be this week off will do him some good. A win at Indy would be a nice step in the right direction.
We finally have a story that the MSM cannot mess up. Nasa is back in space as we all know. I really don't think they could put a liberal spin on it. Any way, here is a like to a page on Nasa.gov. You are able to watch the shuttle live.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Smoke has "Spidey Sense" to get to the front
Tony Stewart has three wins in the last four races. He is on top of his game right now. Could he be doing too much too early? We are still seven races away from the Chase. Can he really keep this run for 17 more races to win the championship? Time will only tell. He is one hell of a driver. He can drive the wheels of anything. All you have to do is tell him it is race and he will give it his all. From the looks of it lately, he has been winning the races to the donut table as well. If he keeps winning races and making those climbs to the flag stand and giving back to the fans, he may just loose that little extra.
"Trust me, I'll be glad to be panting like a dog when I get up there," he said. "It's something they like and I'll keep doing it for them."
"Yes, I'm still too old and too fat to be doing that stuff," the 34-year-old driver said. "I'm probably going to fall and bust my butt before its over. I'm glad they let me go through the gate instead of climbing back down."
Bobby Labonte has had a hard luck season. Seated 23, -818 points, he is looking to next year. There has been a lot of speculation about him driving for Gibbs in 2006.
"It's one of those deals that any time you don't run well in this sport, you're going to be in the rumor mill -- that's just part of life, you know?" Gibbs said. "It's the same in the NFL, if you're not performing well.
"Here, you get a report card every week of where you rank-up; from first to 43rd, so you kind of can see that. What people don't see is the team and the teamwork behind it and all the work that goes into it."
"Like I said before on Friday, it's amazing how great the media is for you 90 percent of the time," Labonte said. "That 10 percent that I had on Friday disrupts the race team pretty bad."
"I've got strong ties at Joe Gibbs Racing so I'm not worried about that -- I just want to run good. There is no truth to the rumor (that Labonte is leaving)."
I really don't see Joe Gibbs getting rid of a previous champion. Joe is a football guy and knows that you have bad seasons. Not everybody or every team be at the top of the standings every year. Every week you go out and give a 100% and try for a win or settle for a great finish. Bobby finished third this week, even though he had electrical problems late in the race. He had to turn off all of the fans to allow enough electric to power the engine. This allowed tire pressure to build up. Otherwise it might have been a 1-2 finish for Joe Gibbs Racing.
Also, like in the NFL, you make a few changes in the off season and prepare for the next season. In Nascar, it could be changes in the shop and the pit crew. I am waiting for the day when we start seeing some sort of "Free Agency" when it comes to the guys in the pits. It is a physical and dangerous job to go over the wall. With pit times needing to be faster, the pit crew members are needing to train and be in great condition.
It looks as if we will only have ten drivers in the Chase, as the 400 point cut off is now in the Top 10. Dale Jarrett is in 10th at 418 back. This is now the covetted spot, which creates a new "Chase".
Matt Kenseth is in 16th, 150 points behind Jarrett. This late in the season, that
is pushing it. I really don't think he has a chance of making it. Jamie McMurray
will probably make sure of it next week. He never did his retaliation. "I just kind of got dumped," McMurray said. "It was pretty deliberate."
Jeff Gordon is in 15th at 120 back of the 88. He is hanging on hope at this
point. He would be a lot closer if his brakes didn't fail towards the end
yesterday.
Kevin Harvick in 14th, -105, needs to put some Top 10s. If he can start doing that on a regular basis again, he will be in the Chase.
Dale Earnhardt Jr is 13th at 59 points back of Jarrett. It could become the new "Dale -n- Dale Show". With a 3rd, 1st, and 9th place finish in the last three weeks, there has been a new breath of life for this team. It looks as if Nascar will get its "Most Favorite Driver" in the Chase.
Carl Edwards sitting 12th at 54 points out is nothing to look past. Even though I don't like him for he is a Roush driver, he is a strong contender to make it.
Jamie McMurray got the shaft this past week by Kenseth. McMurray lost three positions this week, falling out of the Top 10. His is 21 points out. As long as Jamie doesn't get into a car war with the 17, this past week will only be a minor set back. Don't look past the fact that he is only 114 points out of 5th. From Kurt Busch on back it is packed full of drivers.
Nothing is set in stone as of yet.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Winning is the best Medicine
With the news of Michael Waltrip leaving DEI at the end of the season, Truex did what he knows best, WIN. He held Carl Edwards off on a Green-White-Checkered to get his fifth and series leading win of the season. He has a total of 11 Busch Series wins in his career and building. There is 15 races left in the season and Truex has built a commanding lead of 142 points over Clint Bowyer. Even though Carl Edwards missed a race at Nashville Superspeedway, Martin has enough points over Carl to cover one race. Carl is 220 points out. Yes, he would be more of a contender for the Championship, but that is the price you pay for being a dumbass, trying to do two full seasons at once, and not to mention, driving for Roush Racing.
Michael Waltrip moving on is a big blow to DEI. I didn't see this coming. If you read the article linked above, you can see that it all came down to Mikey wanting Tony Eury Jr. as his crew chief. With that looking to be the sticking point, it hints that Tony will be in charge of Dale Jr's pit crew again.
In an earlier post, I predicted that Mikey would easily renew his contract. I like my crow medium-rare. I looked over the fields in both Nextel and Busch. I really don't see any canidates for the 15-car. In the next few weeks, I am sure there will be names in the rumor mill. Once I see something credible, I will be blogging one way or the other.
I would like to say that I have enjoyed the seasons with Mikey behind the wheel. Good luck in the rest of your career.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Job Application (from insanepictures.com)
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Dale Earnhardt Jr get first win of season at Chicagoland
This is exactly what this team needed, a win. To find the winners circle is a big step in the right direction. Dale Jr chased down his first victory of 2005.
The last of 10 caution flags waved on Lap 249, when Mike Bliss and Jeff Gordon crashed, giving all the leaders a last chance to pit on a day when right-side tires were blistering and causing numerous blowouts and crashes.
Scott Wimmer stayed on the track and took the lead, while Earnhardt and several other drivers took only two tires and moved ahead of both Kenseth and Tony Stewart, who took four tires after coming into the pits first and second. (They came out 9th and 10th.)
The green flag came out on Lap 255, and it took Earnhardt three laps to get past Wimmer, who then faded quickly. (Wimmer gambled and finished 17th.)Meanwhile, Kenseth charged toward the front, grabbing second place from Brian Vickers on Lap 261.
But Kenseth couldn't catch Earnhardt, finishing about five car-lengths back.
I do admit, Matt Kenseth had the dominate car. For the longest time, him and Tony Stewart drove away from the field. Yes, that Tony that wrecked in practice and had to start from last because JJ Yeley qualified his car. He can drive the wheels of anything. The short pit strategy late in the race was key for Jr. I told my wife this morning that he was going to pull off something like that for a win. With last week's top five finish and this week's win, this team is starting to standup again. Hopefully eight more weeks of it to be eligible for the playoffs.
Congrats Junior!!!
Now only the Top 10 reside with the invitations for the Chase. Dale Jarrett is only nine points out at 409. Carl Edwards -475, Dale Jr -491, Kevin Harvick -496, and Jeff Gordon -502 still have a eight weeks to get under the 400 point cutt off.
Wednesday, July 6, 2005
Monday, July 4, 2005
Sunday, July 3, 2005
Nascar Update
Tony Stewart dominates Daytona
What more is there to say? Tony Stewart just crushed the competition at Daytona. He led 151 of 160 laps. This is two wins in a row for Smoke. He is showing now, that he is ready for the Chase to begin. He may even enter the Chase in the points lead. He is only 136 pts out of first. Hopefully he keeps some of this bottled up until then. He will be attempting to go after his second championship this year. If they keep building cars like that, Tony will be able to drive off with a passenger.
As for Junior, he finished in 3rd. This is keeps his season on life support as he is now 506 points out. He needs to make up 106 to qualify for the post season. May be this is the "push" in the right direction. I think now that everything has been put out in the open, the emotional baggage, and the in-team rivalry put aside, both Michael Waltrip's and Dale Jr's seasons are going to make dramatic turns. Look for them both to make the Chase.
There is now 13 drivers eligible for the Chase, which is in nine weeks. If you watch any of NBC last night, that was pounded into your head. Who will finally make the cut? There are some serious contenders in there. Rusty Wallace is 205 points back in 5th. He could make his final year, his best year. If Mark Martin (8th, -310) stays out of the kind of trouble that he got into last night, he could do the same. Kurt Busch (9th, -348) knows how to use the points racing to his advantage. That is how he got last year's championship.
There is no one age group dominating the points this year. It is spread out amongst the field. This could be a very interesting year, if there is more than ten in the Chase. There would be a lot of mid week hype in the news medial. The stories would be endless, just what Nascar is looking for during NFL season. I have to say, what keeps me motivated about Junior's chances is that Nascar commercial about Jeremy Mayfield (11th, -349) making it into the Chase on the last lap of the 26th race. Keep diggin' JR.
The two droppers of the week were Mark Martin and Carl Edwards (12th, -351). They both lost three positions in the standings due to wrecking out. The biggest jumper was Dale Jarrett of two spots to 10th, -348.
Two of Three Locked Up
After Martin Truex Jr's win Friday night in the Busch Series, he announced a three year contract extension to stay with DEI. The only adjustment is that they will bring his crew, car, sponser and all to the Nextel Cup Series. This is relief to fans, as Truex has been apart of the Silly Season rumor mill.
While I was catching up this great news, I found this. Michael Waltrip doesn't have a contract for next season. I willing to go out on a limb here and say, now that Truex is under contract, DEI can focus on resigning Waltrip. It may take him to qualify for the Chase, but I don't think that DEI would hold their mistake of the car swap fiasco against Mikey. I see the three horse stall of Junior, Truex, and Waltrip next season.
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